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Ehm
May 5, 2013

I’m confused.. 🙁

May 5, 2013

what

Ehm
May 9, 2013

RYN: Rofl… omg, that is great!

May 16, 2013

RYN: thank you so much 😀 ~~~>

May 21, 2013

RYN – From what people have described to me that unrequited love feels like… I don’t know. It makes “romance” seem useless unless both parties agree to a relationship. All of those questions you asked yourself once, about being in love with someone who didn’t love you back, sounds soul-crushing, and as you said, extremely self-destructive. I may not have ever been in a position quite like that,or felt like I had to question my self-worth because of another’s attitude towards me, but I can understand and make peace with the unfortunate reality that some people really do that. And that it devastates them. I think that, maybe, a long time ago – before I ever registered the idea of a relationship with someone – I was determined not to let something like that happen to me. Or I convinced myself that to feel that deeply was unreal, or only in stories. I looked up to my parents, who had a very loving, affectionate relationship, but also a very, seemingly, realistic one: where the two people made a decision, together, to be with one another for the rest of their lives and conquer their dreams, sans drama.

May 21, 2013

More RYN – But how am I supposed to know how it all really went down with my parents? They might have had drama. There might have been chasing. They tell me stories about their relationship and it seems like all of the cards were played right, everything fell into place. Maybe they’re the ones living in those stories, or like a special percentage of humans who really get that. Maybe I am just theproduct of a generation of people who watch a lot of TV and use social networking sites to wield themselves into a relationship with another. Maybe I am lacking in something… something like vulnerability. It’s not that I don’t try, it just doesn’t happen too often. I did, however, feel extreme angst and guilt and perpetual sadness when I broke up with my first boyfriend. But… that wasn’t exactly unrequited. That was just break-up remorse. God. I don’t know. I’m still trying to put my finger on it. Thank you for your note, though.

June 6, 2013

thank you!