My Cat Almost Killed Me

I came downstairs this morning and discovered that our cats, probably the tubby orange monster posing amongst the chaos, had pulled everything off of the dining room table including the table cloth, and broken my cute butter dish. There were pieces of butter dish and sugar and pats of butter all over the floor and I was very annoyed. But my cat’s reign of terror didn’t end there.

Later, when I was upstairs, I came out of the bathroom and saw Sunny (the orange monster) had for some idiotic reason decided to climb up onto the railing. His weight shifted and he fell off, from an alarming height, down onto the staircase. Panicked, I started running after him to make sure he was ok and slipped, falling down the rest of the staircase and seriously bruising my ass. The cat was fine. Not a great start to my morning.

Work was pretty dull and quiet considering it’s January and no one wants to shop anymore. And since it’s January our hours have been cut so everyone left at 12:30, but I was there until 4 because I could extend my hours. This was only allowed because another coworker called out sick. I had been looking forward to getting off at 2:30 to get an early start on my gym workout but I didn’t think an hour and a half would make too much of a difference.

Except, of course, it did. The gym was crowded with resolutioners, and I did my best to get through my workout in a reasonable amount of time but it was slow-going. When I got to the last one someone was using the machine and I didn’t want to wait so I just decided to leave it for today. I already worked all day and would be going for a walk after dinner.

My locker room locker was unfortunately behind a very naked, very hot man who moved over so I could get to my locker. He then decided to make small talk with me and I was very awkward and anxious to grab my stuff and leave. Especially since he was straight.

I got home later than I would have liked but Reed had made his bland internet chicken pot pie for dinner and it was ok once I seasoned it. He had also made me some keto brownies so that was a nice dessert as well. We watched Interview with the Vampire while we ate, then I went for my walk and listened to Lawrence Beasley’s account of the sinking of the Titanic.

I’m exhausted, I’m very ready for bed, and I’m not sure if I’ll be extending my hours again tomorrow. We’ll see what happens. There’s also a terrifying wind storm blowing through the valley tonight, I really hope we don’t lose power…