Solo dolo..

im living in this sadness, im not sure what this is. it comes in waves. Am i a ocean? i think coming to a realization that i am a just anxious by nature. i dont ever remember a time where i was really fully comfortable and at ease. it just seems as though i’m lost. i i i i just want to be happy. for whatever reason i think that this one thing i am absolutely  fixated on will solve all my issues and actually make me happy. i know happiness comes from within. so why cant i just be happy? why cant i just be content. is it the fact that i have yet to do anything towards finding my true purpose. how am i suppose to do that if i am constantly battling with myself?