Painful Childhood Experience

One of the worst times in my life.

I have never shared this with anyone. Not my parents, not my wife or even close friends. It was too painful.

When I was in the 7th grade or so several friends and I snuck into the college dorm across the street and we stole a bunch of junk. Nothing of real value just staplers, nick-nacks and some loose change. My older brother got mad at me told my parents so all of us got in trouble. The campus security got involved along with our parents. We gave the stuff back and had to pay a small amount of money that we took. My two classmates involved really hated me after that because it was my brother who told. I know, strange, right? They never came out directly and told me the reason until years later.

Up until our falling out I was relatively popular and part of the “crowd”. My two former friends didn’t want anything to do with me so I was excluded after that. Mostly it was petty stuff like getting picked last for games even though I was relatively skilled.  But one particularly bad incident involved them spitting on me. Not just once but numerous times while I tried to reason with them. I was afraid to walk away since home was at least a mile and there were lots of secluded areas. I think I stayed because it was near the school crossing and there were lots of people around. After some time an older boy from high school came by and asked if I wanted to walk with him or did I want to hang around and get spit on.  I walked beside him for a couple of blocks  while my two former friends would step on my heels to pull my sneakers partially off.  After a block they went one way (toward my house) and I split off and took a different route.

I ran so that I would get home before our paths crossed again. The stopped by my neighbor (a boy still friendly toward me) and told him that I better not tell on them.  I had no intention of doing so. I think I was too embarrassed  or something. Or maybe I was afraid that my parents would call theirs and make things really hard on me.

I don’t recall exactly how long this went on. It was probably a few months but I’m not sure. But I do remember when it “ended”. One of these two boys (who was quite athletic and popular and usually the captain of pick-up games) chose me for his team in baseball well ahead of what I expected. He never said anything about it and he was not quite as friendly as before but the ice was thawed. I was not included in the “crowd” right away but I was not sneered at anymore. Slowly over the next few months things got back to normal and it was as if nothing ever happened.

I’m sure most people have experienced worse instances of bullying and they may not think this as very painful.  But it’s been over 50 years and I can still recall the feeling of being excluded and bullied. Kids can be very mean. I was not an angel myself. I was never overtly mean or vengeful but I did prank kids I thought were strange so I could watch them react. Still not very nice. You would think that my experience on the receiving end of bullying would make me less apt to participate but I was not mature enough.

Namaste

P