When in doubt, force it…

Okay. I haven’t written a word here in over six months. Half a year of silence. I wonder if I’m even still on anybody’s Favorites list. The problem is that I can’t make myself write when I have nothing witty to say. I’ve never been one of those "Today I woke up and made toast.." diarists. I like to think that each of my entries makes somebody smirk, or chuckle, or grin wryly as they read my words. I don’t like to just post filler for the sake of getting an entry out. But sometimes, after half a year of having nothing to say, that’s just what I have to do.

So let’s see. It’s 2009 now. 2008 was a shit of a year. I achieved almost literally nothing at all. I hit the five year mark for singlehood and celibacy. I got drunk a lot. Watched a lot of TV reruns. Lay in bed a lot. Took a lot of prescription medication. And generally just existed in a state of pointless apathy.

The later part of 2008, and 2009 has been good so far. I’ve been to a lot of parties, met new people, done new things. I’m back in touch with an old friend who has always been a social god to me, he has so many friends, throws so many parties, always seems to be such a happening guy, I really look up to him a lot. Now that we’re back in contact, I’ve been going to parties again, meeting fun and interesting people, having some good times. I feel like I’m reliving my teenage years a bit, catching up on some lost time from my early twenties perhaps. I’ve been drinking, smoking weed, taking ecstacy. Now I know, drugs are bad and drugs kill and drugs are for idiots and so on, but I’ve decided I love ecstacy. I’ve taken it twice this month and it’s been such a clean, fresh high. I’m not a big fan of getting stoned on pot because of the way it makes me feel, I get so blurry and slow and a little nauseous. I won’t smoke bongs at all anymore, I’ve decided it’s a disgusting habit, though I’m still partial to a little reefer. But with ecstacy, it comes on slow, the high is delicious, and there’s no nasty comedown the next day. It’s even sweeter than being drunk, for that matter. Not that I’m ready to give up my scotch bottle just yet. But the comparison is there to be made.

I haven’t become some kind of drug fiend, however. I’ve only taken ecs twice this year, and four times in my whole life. I’m still a drinking, cigarette smoking man. I have my tried and true vices and I’ll stick with them. I’m smoking about a pack a day now, two if I’m partying. Hardly a healthy habit, but I do love to smoke. I can’t help myself. I’d like to quit this year but I’m not committed to it because I just enjoy smoking too much. It’d be like voluntarily giving up sex. Who would do such a thing? My 14 year old cousin tried to lecture me on the evils of smoking at Xmas time last year, he’s very passionately anti-smoking. He even took my smokes and hid them and then lied to my face about it, which earned him a punch in the spine when I found them. Little bastard. It’s one thing to fight for your convictions but I’ve no patience for liars. I’d rather he said "I hid them, tough shit, I’m not telling you where they are!" than to deny having touched them. He’s a pretty good kid though, he’s going to be a good man when he grows up and I’m proud to be related to him and his older brother, but the lying thing is not a good sign.

Smoke break time.

{several cigarettes and a chicken sub later}

Okay, where was I… oh yes, rambling about nothing, that’s right. So my New Years Eve was good. I got wonderfully drunk, without puking or doing anything stupid. I also took five Valiums, which may have helped my mood a bit. Gift from a new friend who also enjoys pharmaceuticals. We lit fireworks and almost decapitated several people in the process when one of them fired sideways instead of the traditional upwards motion. Was a really good night though, all things considered.

What else, what else… a lightning storm blew out the fan on my PCs video card, but my buddy recently upgraded his and his old card was identical to the one that blew, so I’m borrowing his old card until I can replace it. Gave me a couple of days of drama but nothing life changing there.

Oh, this buddy of mine who has all the parties, he’s looking to set me up with a friend of his. I’ve met her a few times and I admit to a bit of a crush, she’s an adorable girl who’s way out of my league. Last time I saw her was at my buddy’s wedding, somebody had splashed their drink on her so I offered her my jacket to wear because hers was wet. She has beautiful eyes and really nice boobs. If all goes well I might have some more to say about her in my next entry, but after five years of being alone I’m not going to get my hopes up just yet. We’ll just see if and how things pan out first.

Anyways, not sure I really have anything else to say at this point. I know it’s not much of an entry for a six month writing break, but as I said, I don’t really do much else with my life. I hope I still have some readers out there who will remember me and note this entry. I’d really love to hear from you.

I’ll try not to leave it half a year until my next entry, okay?

Ciao.