Behold, the answers lie within!

1. If you were a dragon, what colour would you be? I would be a blue frost dragon, as depicted here. I had this pic commissioned for one of my websites, but I haven’t put it in circulation yet.

2. Do you know anything about Aurae (Aurai) or Nox (Nyx)? Not one tiny thing. In fact, I’d bet even odds you just made up those words. I’m too lazy to Google them and find out.

3. Who/what is your fave RPG character, and in which world do you play? My most long running and oft-used character is Lasaraleen Malthanus (click for pic). She’s a half-elven fighter wizard. I’ve been playing her since pen’n’paper AD&D as a kid, through Baldur’s Gate, Neverwinter Nights, and other such D&D computer games. So I guess the world I play most would be D&D Forgotten Realms, that being the case.

4. Sims 2 yet? Very yes. I bought it when it first came out and own most of the expansions and stuff packs (it’s damn hard to keep up on a budget though, they seem to release a new one each week!). It’s one of my top five favorite games.

5. What exactly is in your fridge right now? A bunch of beers belonging to my housemate. I don’t know why they’re in there, I’ve half a mind to give them away or pour them down the sink, they’ve been sitting in there for over half a year now, surely they’re not still good to drink. All the food and stuff (including several things with green fur growing on them!) is kept in his fridge though, so all that’s in mine is those beers. Stupid housemates. {mutter}

6. When and where was your first kiss? I quite honestly don’t remember it. I know who it was with, but have no recollection of my actual first kiss. Disgraceful, no?

7. Cats or dogs? Cats, no question. I hate dogs. All they ever do is bark. And they need to be walked and played with and wrestled with and have things thrown at them. Cats just exist, you feed them and pat them and they live happily on.

8. Do you think you’ll ever be able to work? Not nine to five, no. I hope my work from home picks up sometime to the point where I actually have something to work on, but as for the rat race, I don’t think I could handle it and I’m not sad about that fact. I haven’t worked full time in almost ten years and if The Man ever makes me go back to it, I’ll most likely fuck it up.

9. What do you look like? (pic??) I’m 6’2", 220lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders, small beard and mustache, kind of unkempt, scruffy looking if I’m not going out anywhere fancy. I scrub up nice when I need to though. Here’s the long awaited pic, taken last year some time. I still don’t have a more recent one.

10. What’s your favourite song of all time? (or top five, if you can’t decide on just one) I can’t even decide on five. I’m no good with picking songs. I have my favorite artists, and I usually only like about one album from each of them. They would include: Garbage, Guns ‘n’ Roses, Happyland, Ladytron, Led Zeppelin, Neil Diamond, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Cure, The Doors, The Mavis’s, VAST, and probably a few others I can’t think of right now.

11. Who is your favourite homestarrunner.com character and why? I would have to say The Cheat. He’s just so cute and cuddly and adorable, everybody should have a The Cheat! (My least favorite is Homestar – he just annoys the shit out of me! StrongBad should kick Homestar’s ass sometime!)

12. is it true they dont have peanut butter in australia? No, that’s an elaborate and perplexing lie. That’s like saying you don’t have cheese in America.

13. Whats your mom like? My mom’s cool. We used to fight like bitches when I lived with her, but when I moved out many, many years ago now, we started to get along much better and now we’re quite good friends. She used to drink a lot – to be fair, so did I, but she drank a LOT – and she got quite obnoxious at times, but recently her ex-boyfriend turned into a total slobbering useless alcoholic and it seems that seeing him go down the tube has sobered her up a bit. Now she’s occasionally a pain in the ass, but it doesn’t really get to me anymore. I just ignore her crazy ranting and we get along just fine. =)

14. Describe the perfect girl. Warm and breathing, preferably human? Hahah no, despite the fact that I haven’t been laid in nearly five years, my standards are still higher than that. Much, much higher in fact. Perfect… let’s see. Not a question lightly answered, this one. What is perfection? I could rattle off a long list of words I suppose, and imagine that the girl who is all of those things would be perfect. In reality I’d probably still find fault with her, not to mention that any girl who meets even half of them would be far too good for the likes of me anyway. But okay, I’ll take a crack…

The perfect girl would be: affectionate, athletic, calm, charming, cheeky, clean, clever, computer literate, coy, elegant, enjoys gaming, enjoys parties, enjoys reading, enjoys sex, is firm, funny, generous, good humored, good natured, graceful, hairless from the nose down, hates "reality TV", is healthy, high maintenance, hygienic, intelligent, kind, knows how to give a decent blowjob, is lithe, has long straight hair, loves animals, is loving, has no disabilities/syndromes/illnesses/medical conditions, no drug addictions, no hangups/emotional baggage, is pale skinned, peaceful, petite, pleasant, self confident, sexy, short, small breasted, smooth, soft skinned, a social drinker, social smoker, submissive in bed, tactile, thoughtful, tidy, virginal (by nature, if not literally!), vivacious, witty, and of course young (at least younger than I am).

There, that took me the better part of an hour. I’m sure I could think of more if I used more time but I’m sure you get the drift. Besides, the perfect girl doesn’t even exist anyway, she’s a fictional character in the story of my imagination, so this is all just playful fantasy.

15. What kind of toothpaste do you use? I use Sensodyne Gentle Whitening. It’s a toothpaste designed for sensitive teeth which allegedly gradually whitens your teeth also, though I’m yet to see dramatic evidence of that.

16. What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day? Write in my OD – it’s raining right now. =P Nah, I don’t really do much with my life, especially outdoors, so rain, hail or shine makes little difference to my routines. Though I do really love the rain.

17. What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done? I’m not really much of a wild child these days. Though once, I took a big group of underage girls to an alcohol-free rave with an enormous knapsack full of alcoholic drinks over my shoulder. I was supplying them all with booze until I found out it was actually a sting, undercover cops were going around randomly asking drinkers for their ID and then arresting them on the spot. I managed to round up everyone I’d come with from the massive two storey warehouse building and bounce the fuck outta there without a single arrest of anyone I knew. That was a heart racer, I tell you.

18. Which side of Melbourne do you live on? (I think you’re in melb…I have some vague memory that you live near me [jessicah]!) South-eastern suburbs. As I think I’ve mentioned before Jess, I live less than a ten minute drive (in good traffic) from you. I can practically spit to your street from my doctor’s office. Unless I’m seriously mistaken as to where you live, which is possible.

19. How old were you when you lost your virginity? I was sixteen. She was fifteen. And that’s about all I can tell you, because much like my first kiss, I don’t actually remember the very first time I had sex. I know about when it happened and who it was with, but no recollection of the actual event. Is that weird?

20. If you could have any career in the world, and go straight to the job you wanted, what would it be? CEO of a small computer game development firm, one of those little geeky dotcoms where everybody treats each other like equals and everybody contributes their ideas to my games.

21. What’s your favourite game? (computer or otherwise) Mmmm, another tough call. I might have to say Neverwinter Nights. Though there are many other games right up there, like StarCraft, Diablo II, The Sims 2, SimCity 4, and many others…

22. Which highschool did you go to? I went to Brentwood Secondary College, the high school reknowned for its teachers having sexual relations with its students. Seriously, look it up on Wikipedia! =P

23. Would you ever ask me [VenusDiablo] to marry you for american citizenship? Didn’t I already? That sounds like something I would do. I’m sure I did at some point. Anyhow, yes, in a heartbeat. Just tell me where and when… oh, and loan me the money for the plane ticket! =P

24. Would you rather live underwater or on mars for a year (provided that you would be totally safe, have food, oxygen, no accidents, books, tv, etc?) I’m terrified of being under water. Even knowing that I’d be totally safe, have oxygen, etc. I’d still be shitting myself that the dome would crack and I’d drown in my own bedroom. I could never relax for the worrying about it. So I’d have to say Mars. I’d be about as social as I am now, and so long as I had my neccessities and most importantly, broadband internet, I could easily live on Mars for a year and probably not even notice I was there. =P

25. A baby is left on your door step with a million dollars, cash. taking her to an orphanage/the police/etc is NOT an option. what would you do? If, as you said, finding somebody responsible to raise her wasn’t an option (though I’d wonder why that would be!), I’d have no qualms about keeping her and raising her as my own. I’ve been thinking about kids lately anyway – I’m nearly 30 and I’m probably never going to be in a serious relationship again, so a very rich adopted daughter would be a nice option. I’d give her the best of everything in life, and get myself a nice car as well. =)

26. Is it colder in the north than it is in the winter? No. Winter here is damn near freezing, but up north it rarely gets below warm, even at nights. Southern hemisphere, remember? North from me is the equator. Whereas my state is about as close to the south pole as one can get easily.

27. Wine or whine? Whine. I don’t like wine, but I whine often. Not as much as you do Mano, of course, but still. =P

28. How come I [Manopeace] hurt so bad? Because you’re a broken down bitter old man with a barely functioning body who is forced to rely on massive amounts of medications and online flirting with girls a third of your age just to get through the day. In other words, you’re an older, slighly more broken version of me. =)

29. When is the last time you had sex for the first time? See question #19. Although the next time I get laid will be the first time again I think, because after five years of celibacy I’m pretty sure I have my virginity back again!

30. The burning question (unanswerable thus far) is ‘What is my [Dazed & Complicated] problem?’ I know I’m all wise and all-knowing and so on, and I make a pretty good substitute for an all-seeing Oracle, or at least a cracked Magic 8-Ball, but I’m not your shrink and I don’t know you well enough to form an educated and intelligent guess on this question. Please ask again later. =)

31. What is your biggest fear? Dying alone. I know that’s morbid, but I don’t really have any trivial day-to-day fears. Nothing really scares me except for the fact that no matter how we live our lives, no matter how much money or possessions we accumulate or how many friends and family we have, in the end, when your time is up, we all die completely alone and take nothing and nobody with us. That thought scares me sometimes…

32. Where did you go and when are you coming back? I went to visit my good friends Lazy and Hopeless, who live in the city of Unmotivated in the great land of Hopeless Lazy Bastards. In other words, I’ve been here all along, but only just now worked up the mojo to write this entry. You should expect nothing less from me by now Mano, you know what a tragically lazy turd I am. =P