At the third stroke, the time will be…

Just when I thought I’d already run the full spectrum of possible sleeping disorders, my body clock decides to throw me another curveball…

No matter what, I can’t sleep past 7:00AM. Doesn’t matter how much or little sleep I had the previous day, what time I went to bed, what I did or took the night before… nothing. When 7AM comes around, my eyes pop open like a goddamn Furby and my brain says "Pay attention to me!".

This is more intrusive than anything else I’ve dealt with sleep-wise in my life.

If you hadn’t already put the pieces together (or if you’re a new reader), my thing is, I’m single, antisocial, and self-employed. So when it comes to sleeping patterns, I don’t answer to anybody else’s demands. No girlfriend nagging me to get up and mow the lawn. No friends expecting me to make a shining appearance at social gatherings. No boss threatening to axe me if I’m late for the rat race. All in all it’s a pretty comfortable life.

Until 7AM…

I’m actually waking up earlier than my housemate who has an hour commute to her wage slave desk job.

And of course, this cascades into other problems. If I have to wake up at 7AM, my body says, that’s okay, we’ll catch up on that this afternoon. So I’ve taken to napping to fill in the extra hours. Problem with that is, if I nap from say, 11AM to about 4PM, then I’ve had too MUCH sleep, so I’m tired again by 10PM. So I go to bed vastly earlier than I normally would…. and wake up at 7AM again.

The other day, I went to bed at 10:30PM, woke up at 7AM. I manage to outstubborn my body and go back to sleep within about half an hour. So I slept again until 11AM, got up and watched TV for an hour, went back to bed until 6PM, got up, ate dinner, watched TV for a bit and went back to bed. Slept until 7AM.

In an attempt to outsmart my body (which, you’d think would be easy with brain on my side, and body having no backup brain to count on!), yesterday when I woke up at 7AM, I decided to get dressed and leave the house so I couldn’t be tempted to nap again. I decided to go visit my mother at work, so I spent three hours commuting there on public transport (note to self – never try to take a bus on a Saturday again!). I spent about an hour or two loitering around her salon, combing my hair, using her clippers to tidy up my beard, generally just getting underfoot, when I realized that she wouldn’t finish work until 7PM, and without taking up several more hours on that ghastly public transport, I was stuck there.

So I called my buddy and he picked me up and we went back to his place to kill some time. It worked well. I smoked a few cigarettes and didn’t hate them. We went and got pizza, then went to my ex-girlfriend’s place to watch a movie. I was pretty dead tired after that, and fairly sure I could head off to bed before midnight and get a good solid sleep through. All I wanted was to not wake up at 7AM, for once in my miserable life…

Well, I got my wish.

I woke up at 6AM. =|

On the lighter side, it seems my housemate has discovered and purchased a product to make your house pets taste better. Yes, the "Verry Berry Grooming Spray" seems to have no real purposes besides making your favorite cat or dog taste like candy. Why anybody would need their man’s best friend to taste like berries, I have no idea. It’s possible that my housemate has signed my cats over to a Chinese restaurant without my knowing, and is trying to make them more flavorsome to close the deal. I don’t see why though, my cats are either flabby or skinny, and only one of them would be even close to lean and tender…

Actually, now that I think, I haven’t seen that cat around today… and this berry spray does smell good….

I’m rapt to see that everybody’s still actually reading me. I still have heartfelt good intentions to catch up on your diaries and posting my RYNs, but you know how that gets. I still heart you guys and whatever, I just suck at showing it. Feel the love, though…. oh yeah. That’s not a roll of dimes. That’s my love for you.

I’ll stop now.