on the turning away

inside the heart is beating screaming of infidelities and obsessive wonderment, questions lingering beyond the voice inside speaking of lost thoughts and slow deaths held within each solemn heartbeat. she hears a thought, soft and lonesome, of the heart it forces to step beyond its boundary. it calls for you, an echo stirring of nothing but a rhythm, a heartbeat, the sigh escaping from the lips, the utterance, calling, forgotten, racing down the drain of insecure anesthetic. bleed me dry, suck the life away from my lips, force the pounding beneath my breast to cease in a violent, wholesome manner.

i would love to place my hands tightly around your throat and force the life out beyond your lips, forget the plea, the urge to refrain, to hold on to a slight piece of humanity, and take the hurt and pain and force it into your ever lasting thought of what the end should be and how it shall come. know only that your end will be my beginning, my beginning will create your slow demise, and i will watch the knowing smother within your eyes as you look into the evilness forming inside my heart, blackened, longing, wishing only for sweet release.
fuck you, i say, FUCK YOU! i’ll beat the life into your unconscious world, cause your world to crumble within my aching heart, crushing hands, consuming vertigo…..thoughts will bleed away with you, the suffering shall consume, relinquish the hold you maintained.
the words only run on into thoughts and dreams fears that manifest into consciousness and create mischevious intentions that never come to means. these hands fall away from your flesh left wondering how, if ever, could they react in such a fashion. you control the rage in me, control the passion, and it escapes in a weary manner begot of loathing and anger and fear. you control, absolute, but i will take back my innocence, strip my indignity of your memory. you will learn to forgive me, you will learn not to feel the chains tight around your skin, you will learn not to scream for your freedom of me….you are mine, you always will be, and you will accept your fate.

she sings words of praise and love to your aching soul.

she is the world of vertigo, spinning as she closes her eyes and feels her feet falling free of the gravitational pull of your world. you no longer hold her will in the palm of your hand and as you look through the mirror into her eyes she only sees herself without you, and she can be alone, free, without your burning contempt, running within an essence of euphora. the epiphany will not succomb to your needs and she will be hers, rocking into sleepless recognition, holding herself in arms of jelly and fanciful delight.
be free she thinks. be free….even if it means always being alone? without? what is she without the world but an empty shell. what is she without you but an image of herself.
she will hold the hands tight around her throat, and as the consciousness falls into freedom she will know the meaning of the word eternity, forever the free and brave and few, she will hold on to the warmth there upon her flesh until the world devours her existence and bends its will around her being and crashes the heart struggling within the chest, beating, beating, beat, failing, faltering within one absent breath.

this thought is you

there’s no snoozebar on this fuckin wake-up call