don’t forget the camera

in the world today, i feel a little lonely….. it really sucks when you get used to being around great people (even if they can’t see it for themselves) all the time and then suddenly you’re around only yourself. but overall i’m feeling a great deal of anxiety. today i go for my interview for management, and i’m feel like i am totally unprepared. i’m kinda going into the situation blind, so i’m just going to put on my professional face and attire and play the role as best i can. basically i’m going to have to bullshit my way through it. all and all though if i don’t make it, i’m not going to fret cause i still have a raise and the rest of school anyways.

and i’m still anxious. damnit i suppose it has just been too long since i really enjoyed myself….and i mean REALLY enjoyed myself. i’ve been seeing this guy for a while but i just can’t make the commitment. it terrifies me and excites me, and mostly just drives me crazy all at the same time. i’d say i’m in desperate need of a good lay.

i’m going to a race next week and i’ve never been to one. i’m really going for the party if you want to know because the people i’m going with are the type that bring the party with them wherever they go. it promises to be an interesting and entertaining weekend. btw it’s talladega if anyone is wondering.

when it rains it pours. 

 she can feel the inside changing pushing her thoughts apart. if only she lingers one second too long, she’ll see the world melt away. it’s dreams of you, dreams of her, a sweet lullabye rocking away her fears. sometimes these thoughts succomb to ill memories, driven by unhabored rejection. overcome.

once she could believe, once she thought she knew what it meant to be a part of you. once the words had meaning, they bled so true. now she is apart from you, sometimes knowing that your heart is there with her and sometimes knowing she is only too hopeful about it all. your voice echoes from the phone, illicit thinking ensues, have you ever believed in what the two of you could have been? they’re spiraling in this web they weave – a ritual of deceit holding them in a crooked embrace.

well that’s it for now, more later