nice feedback for nanny who wants to be mother

I recently posted on an email forum for my local area about my concerns about wanting to have a baby and as a nanny, I have heard of nannies being fired for getting pregnant, etc. I liked the responses, they were actually pretty nice. So I wanted to post them here, to save them, and you can see them too, if you like.

++ Nanny wants to become a mother

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we had lived off of one salary for an entire year when we

had our first. one salary after taxes was only 47K! we rent

in Oakland. that first year, my husband stayed home to

provide care. it can be done on a meager salary. you have to

be creative (and frugal!) and if your lifestyle is one of

shopping on a regular basis and having your lattes everyday

and eating out, well you are in for a major adjustment.

the state will give you some money while you are on leave, 4

weeks before your due date and 6 weeks after giving birth

(more if you have a c-section), your husband can also apply

for the 6 weeks after you give birth and not right after

either – i would look into this though.

to bring in income, i would think you would be able to care

for your child and another child. have you thought of

opening up your own home daycare and getting licensed? Most

licensed home daycares charge $1000/mo for one child full

time. I can not believe families would fire a nanny for

being pregnant – that is against the law. having said that,

i am sure you know how much it takes to care for a single

child, and even more so taking care of several including

your own.

if you really want to have a child – then go for it. the

rest will figure itself out. do you have family and friends

in the area? do not hesitate to get help and support, as

they say – it takes a village to raise a child. Good luck!

anon

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Hi Nanny and Wanna be Mommy:

To have a good, loving, reliable nanny is a wonderful and

blessed thing but being a nanny is not really a professional

career, unless you are a nanny for an extremely wealthy

family, who can offer you insurance and other benefits.

SOmetimes you can find those live-in positions but am not

sure that is the environment in which you would want to

raise your child. You obviously have skills in working

with children, perhaps it is time you considered

transferring your skills to another job that can offer you

the pay and insurance benefits you need to fulfill your life

dreams. You might also need some job training, such as

through a local comm. college. Good luck.

-Anon.

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When my daughter was a baby, I had a nanny with a 2-year-

old daughter, and shared her services with another child.

As a parent, if my nanny is caring for 3 kids, I expect to

pay as if my child is in a 3-way share. So if you care for

2 children and have a child, I think it is fair that you

recieve 2/3 of the usual cost of a 3-way share, which given

typical local rates, is a pay cut compared to what you

would receive for a 2 child share. If you only care for one

child, you would get half of the two-child rate. I think

that that is both fair, and common practice when a nanny

brings her child with her.

I wouldn’t have fired my nanny for getting pregnant, but

you should be prepared to present a plan to your employer.

I think that an employer who is blindsided by a pregnancy

would be more likely to let you go than one you discussed

the issue with, and proposed solutions to forseeable

issues. You will have prenatal appointments. Can you

schedule them for non-work hours? Bring your charge(s) to

the appointments? Or would you be missing work? When you

have the baby, can you leverage the nanny network to

arrange for someone acceptable to your employer to step in

for you for the weeks that you are off?

People who struggle to get by on $70-100,000 a year

typically have two strikes against them. They have high

fixed housing costs (e.g. because they bought a house

before they had kids, or because they are unwilling to

downsize or move to a worse neighborhood to cut costs); and

they have to pay for childcare because they need both

parents’ income. Your childcare cost will be the reduced

pay due to having to count your own child into the share.

If I were you, I’d stay in the studio as long at it is

feasible.

Carrie

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hi, i just wanted to give you some feedback. (our nanny- who

we adore- is going on maternity leave next month, and it’s

been REALLY challenging to address all the issues, ie,

meeting her needs and our needs so we are all happy. so i

have thought a lot about all this lately.) many nannies lose

their jobs when they go on maternity leave because the

employee family needs childcare and they have to consider

their child’s well-being, ie, it’s hard enough to transition

their child to a new nanny, but to then transition BACK

after 4 or 5 months… that’s a lot of disruption for a

child. plus, the situation is now different. they hired a

nanny to be alone with their child, and now the nanny comes

with another child to care for- it’s a different gig. if

they’d wanted a nanny share, they would already be in one

(because it is less expensive). so, yes, counting on

retaining your current job is iffy, and you will almost

certainly be making a lower hourly wage. but as to the

reduction in pay, EVERYONE who works takes a reduction in

pay when they have a baby- it’s called childcare!! you are

lucky to have a job you can bring your baby to work- you

will actually be taking a lesser cut than if you had to pay

someone else for childcare.

if you get pregnant, i think the most important thing is to

be up-front with your employer, let them know you’d LIKE to

return to work, and ask them to talk to you about their

needs and what can be done to make it possible.

also, regarding the discussion about ”struggling on $100K+ a

year”- personally, i was annoyed by this. i think a lot of

people spend a lot of money on non-essentials, have just

overextended themselves with mortgages, new cars, etc. we

live very well on less than 80K/year (and can afford a

nanny, obviously.) everyone is different with what they

need, how they live, etc. so, do the math for your own life

and don’t be too terrified of the financial aspects of

having a baby. if you have always managed to get by

money-wise, you’ll continue to do fine with a baby, too.

anon

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Are you getting paid under the table as a nanny, or are your

earnings being reported and the proper withholdings being

made? All employers in California are supposed to pay into

State Disability Insurance ”SDI”, except for state workers

like at UC which have their own system. So if you and your

employer are doing what you are supposed to do, you will

qualify for SDI when you take maternity leave, and you’ll be

able to draw a check while you’re not working. It’s not as

much as your regular earnings but still. This is what my

nanny did when she took 4 months off after she had her baby.

If you are not paying into SDI,