I decided about the name change for marriage :)

Thanks to all of you who read me, stumbled onto my diary because they saw my post wondering what to do about the name change option when getting married, and even somebody mentioned readers’ choice – wow. thank you for your feedback and thoughts on the decision.

I also had used the http://www.kabalarians.com website to see what they would say about my current name and possible name change option. they had good and bad things to say about both names, but none of that really resonated with me.

I guess it’s my personality to really consider everything when making a decision, and wait it out, give myself time to consider all the options, weigh all the ramifications. I’m just going to accept that it’s how I am, at least at this point in my life. I like to make good decisions and feel good about them in the long term. I like to take my time.

In fact, when I changed my name in 1995, I had thought long and hard about it for years, and even once I found my new last name, I waited 2 years before changing it, because I wanted to give myself a good long time to contemplate the change and consider it.

so I guess it’s not terribly surprising that I’ve taken nearly a year to contemplate the option of changing my last name when I get married. Sometimes you just need to live with a choice, consider it a lot, try out different options, until you feel what your heart tells you.

so what did I choose?

to keep my name as it is. Kirstin M.

for a lot of reasons. K and I have the same first initial, and that is plenty enough for us. Sharing both initials would get far too complicated. Imagine trying to find a short and simple way to denote when an object is yours and not his – as it is, we have to do KM and KB. I guess if I had changed my name to his, it would have become KLVMB and KJB. that’s hardly short and simple.

K thought this was a very convincing reason for him, actually. that was the big thing that affected his vote.

as my first name, Kirstin, is hard enough for most people to pronounce and spell, and his last name is also unusual and hard for people to pronounce and spell, it would have been two major names that I would have to say repeatedly, and spell repeatedly. One name that is complicated is enough!

I like my name a Lot. In fact, a lot of people like my name a lot. I get compliments from strangers on my name, which is enjoyable. and I had a few friends on facebook telling me to not change my name because it is so beautiful. 🙂 that was really sweet.

and ultimately, that name change was significant for me. I made a name for myself, literally, and I look back on how my life changed in that time. and I’m proud of what I’ve done for myself ever since changing my name. I have seen a lot of my dreams come true, traveling to France twice, doing a lot of travel all over, getting my Bachelor of Arts degree in English at fancy university, paying off my debt, saving up money, and now, finding the love of my life and getting married. 🙂

K fell in love with me with this name, and he thinks it is beautiful.

I feel really good about the decision, and we got the Marriage License this past week, where I officially on the form made a decision about my name. I am not changing it.

My name is mine. My name is beautiful.

K and I have, already, so very many things in common. We both decided we really didn’t want to also share a last name. It would be too much. and it isn’t necessary.

So soon, you can start calling me Mrs. M. 🙂