Opening back up the open diary

It’s been a long time since I last used Open Diary.

I can’t remember what was happening in my life last time I used it but today is different.

Sadly the years have not been too kind to me. I struggle daily with severe depression and a variety of physical and psychological issues. But the psyche problems aren’t really that much of a surprise for a 34 year old who lives alone with 2 cats and has very little in the way of actual friends. Every day is the same, day in and day out. I spend my time alone, either playing Xbox or watching YouTube.

Having had a brief glimpse of my old entries it is immediately obvious the change in my personality, gone are the days of the super laid back and cheerful Jobie. Nope. I’m now more miserable than I have ever been and a large part of that was the loss of my father. Which I still haven’t dealt with and it’s been nearly 3 years since he passed.

Every day is a struggle with both poverty and illness. The world has gone insane and I’m sat in the middle of it all wondering what the hell happened and wishing I could go back to a time when I was physically and psychologically fit for work. Being out of work is not fun and I don’t endorse it in the slightest. It’s even worse when you CAN’T work. I wish daily that I was fit for work. I was less alone then.