The Beginning

It’s just one of those days where you don’t know left from right or up from down. I’m struggling with so many things, yet it doesn’t seem like much. Everybody tells me I am doing such a good job, yet I get no freedom. I’m living under a constant watchful eye who criticizes and never praises. The person never has. Being a single mom of 3 kids, working, and going to school full time is taking its toll on my mental state. But I get no break. I did this to myself. Though I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’ve decided that it’s better to be single than trust anybody else with my heart, or any part of myself. I feel like I’m leading 2 people on with this decision. Though, I have told them both specifically that I don’t know what the future holds and I cannot promise anything other than friendship as far as I can see. I will never live underneath another man’s roof, or expect anything from them. I will no longer depend on another man’s paycheck. I will be my own person for my kids.

I’ve been so naive and stupid in the past. Making decisions without thinking about them, and it’s only hurting my parents and my children.

It’s time to stop.

It’s time to change.