not quite sure

this is love.

im utterly depraved.

but i like it, sometimes. i decorated for halloween yesterday. its all so exciting. the lights and the webs and the candles and neat little objects in my house. i collected some dead bugs from the windowsill. apple pies, and homemade meals, juice, and fruit, and all the music i havent listened to since winters end. books, cold nights, long conversations. car rides, diners. leaves, colourss. all my passions are being fueled again.

leaving one void, that grows deeper yet.

and that is in my heart.

nonetheless, i am terribly happy to be in my own skin, and have the ability to feel, and sense, and see.

and analyze.

the trouble is you’re in love with someone else.

it should be me.

p.s. i forgot how deep my adoration for kill hannah was. and itsss DEEP.

yeah im awesome. im going to watch some halloween thing alone. Dracula or something. i wish i had the Munsters on dvd, my life would officially be … near flawless.

love.love