miles to go before i sleep

winter used to excite me.

now i just want spring.

i want birds outside my window.

my  windows need to be open.

cool air. not chilly toes on my wood floor.

this old house.

i am layering paint for a fresh start.

i long for many things. but i should e grateful for what i do have, and i am. some things you just cant help i suppose.

this aching and delusions ….. i wish them away. i want to feel better more than anything. this sickness to leave my bones. and my nerves. but im happy. and i have been smiling more often than not. my friends help my pulse stay steady.

but i fear i have anxiety. and it creeps up and slips away. i try to keep myself distracted.

laughing and long conversations do the trick.

i cant wait till the economy gets itself straight. cause these paychecks arent cutting it.

im feeling a second job may help.

but then there are all these legal things i have to tend to.

ughhh. just press it back and keep that smile, its all so real and lovely. and im LEARNING

 

=)

 

 

 

i love so many things.

 

 

mwah

 

i want to park in the snow and kiss for hours.

someone call me up 😉