criss cross telephone wires

circular dreaming

 

i remember waking up and seeing beautiful, something no one had to tell me thats for sure.

 dont know how much of this i can take it, waking up anxious

fall is creeping back into my system. and its just in time. i need a fix, badly.

devotee. writing. things that have been written for me to copy. notes notes. i know what to be, how to be, how to breathe. so i can get what i need.

 

shelves full.

 

leaves and ice and coffee and stoges

and flowers and bugs. miniature butterflies

and smiles…..

kisses and other things. flesh.

but it needs to be right next time. in time. like the season. just right.

everyday i see more evidence of her approach. im anxious and fearful. it means so much. so much more than i can grasp at this point. mostly, my converting to the other side. the permanent record side, the legally responsible side, my own health and insurance polocies side.moving to the other side of the country, depending on myself.

on a new city.

but for now i will stick to my city. and new york. im too stuck in my ways. and i cant be this way forever.

something needs to change. i need to come clean. breathe clean. live limitless. love.love

"Cause what are the dreams
If you hold them and nobody sees them
No one believes them?
What if they are
Only to hurt you?
And it’s better for you
If you go quietly down"

…

"Cause nothin’ is worth everything
Your happiness
Nothin’ is worth everything
If it makes you feel bad
Nothin’ is worth everything
Cause hope can be, hope can be sad."

 

as i walk, wake me up

 nothing is worth everything

love.love