carve it out

 

churn my insides.

leave a void.

make me numb.

ha. i must be portrayed so defective, so dumb.

a blind little miss. these steps have been placed accurately, and pre-meditated.

i know what im doing, deceptively so.

im still in shock actually. but i bit my tongue.

what else could i do?

play pretend?

i am, you are too.

how did i let it get to my nerve endings.

fixate fixate. on trivail matters. or so i am told is my negative character aspect.

but then he can rant and tell me i am beautiful and intelligent, i have such a great personality. blah blah blah. i cant help but to think friends are subject to feeding me these lines, prove it to me.

so senseless. mysteryyyyyy. ohhh.

 

buts its all in good fun right?

 

i can only hope im not being naive.