5/31/06

I got an A in both classes. I’m glad I’m taking the summer off. I still have thirteen courses left to take to finish my A.S. degree. So that’s proabbly four more years.

We went to Old Orchard Beach, Maine for the weekend and the weather was great. It was even warm enough for me to take a dip in the ocean and ride some waves.

I’ve been enlisted to take on one of the more minor club officer roles in Toastmasters.

My grandfather has acute lukemia, and they’re trying to prolong the months he has left to live with boat load of medications and blood transfusions. It’s not the best of circumstances, but I’ll probably be writing some reflections here to cope with it. He is the last grandparent I have left and also one of the biggest influences in my childhood.

I’ve been wanting to visit him more often for years, and I finally feel like I have some free time. And now he’s hard to get a hold of because he’s in treatment a lot. I was hoping to get out to some baseball games with him this year too. He got me into baseball as a kid, and we’ve always shared that. I’ll see him as often as I can, but I don’t want him to think it’s just because he’s sick. He’s 93, and he’s been having more and more health problems over the past few years. Seeing him more now is probably better than trying to act like nothing is wrong.

I’ll get through it, I know. I’ll have to start getting used to it. Another birthday, another year passes that increases the chances of someone else close dying. It’s better I just be prepared to accept it than to deny the possibility.

My father struggled with finding purpose in his life again after his car accident. I remember when he asked me if I would be okay if he offed himself or if I still needed him around. I had to ponder that and come to terms with the idea of him not being around anymore. I think I was around 20-21 then, maybe younger. I can’t remember exactly anymore. He’s still around now and has found various purposes in life with his limited mobility.

That’s more than I intended to write tonight, but that’s okay. It will all come out eventually.