Friends

I feel like it is difficult to find authentic and trustworthy people nowadays. Many people are now raised by strangers, grandparents, or screens while their parents have to work long hours. As a result we have lost our sense of connection, community, and kindness.

Relationships are so finicky now and superficial. I feel all my friends want to do is drink and party. It makes me feel as if I’m not a tolerable person if my friends aren’t drunk. I feel like I’m always a second rate friend while everyone else has best friends. And I don’t… have a best friend.

Maybe it’s my fault? Maybe I’m not personable or charismatic, or cool? Maybe it’s because I’m short? Or because I’m not extroverted?

I feel that although my nature is to care deeply about others that I’ve been hurt so much that I can’t continue to open up to people so I can be available for a relationship only at their convenience. I hope to surpass this one day but it doesn’t get any easier. People don’t seem to grow up. They just care about money and titles and showing off to flaunt only their best side. They’re not real with you and if you’re real with them they use your vulnerabilities against you.