Two Months

The two month mark came by and I didn’t realize until it was damn near 9 pm. Is that what happens with grief? Do you get so wrapped up in living that you don’t realize the day?

The crying daily has mostly subsided. Mostly.

I tried to move on with another guy and he ended up displaying some very dangerous signs and I blocked him. Then I got scared about the world without J in it anymore. How was I supposed to navigate the world without him in it? That was two weeks ago. Then today, I forgot what day it was.

Oddly enough, I was getting very frustrated about not having someone to flirt with. My flirting buddy died (that was one of his many hats he wore for me) and I knew I needed another one. But they had to be safe. They had to be someone that wouldn’t make me feel obligated or trapped. And I found someone in the most odd of places. Someone I hadn’t suspected had been waiting for the opportunity. And luckily for me, all he wants is to flirt too.

Two months came and went. I still miss him. I still love him very much. The pain … it seems to be easing. Finally.