testing

Alternatively, God could be testing me…he could be introducing this other girl as a test to see how much I trust him. if I hold onto it for just a little longer…maybe God will fix it all.

Maybe I don’t know anymore…

I’ve always been pretty sure of things in my life. I’ve never felt like this before…I’ve never felt like maybe I’ve made a wrong choice… On the other hand, it was God that blessed this marriage…so I should just trust Him and his blessings and keep holding on.

If I just give up, it would be like giving up on God. I would not only be giving up on my wife, but giving up on God.

And nobody could respect that decision either…
Nobody could respect my original choice to get married either…

damn I’m screwed.

I sit at work and look at my wedding pictures…flip through our vacation book (first vacation together)…It’s all so sweet…makes me teary, upset, happy and wonderful all at the same time.

We have a honeymoon planned for November 26th this year.
We have a trip to Europe planned at the end of July.
We have to renew our mortgage within a few months.
We have city taxes to pay end of June.

I have responsibilities…I’m not being a good husband.

Okay, so you’re in love but unhappy. So the question arises: what is more important to you? Being happy and in love, or unhappy and in love? Then of course everyone asks “what if I never find anyone else like this?” Well, what’s life without risks? Settling for the sake of settling isn’t the right thing to do either. But, if you are in love… well, perhaps all you need is the closeness

again. Long distance IS a hard thing to pull off, but I doubt it has much to do with God testing you. But I’m not going to get into my religious beliefs on this subject. I’d say before you do anything, hold off until you’re living together with your wife again. Love is a too precious thing to just throw off, but so is happiness. There should be balance, not one nor the other.

I don’t consider family to be a factor in it, to be honest, unless you value your family a lot more than I value mine which… isn’t hard. I subscribe to the belief that you should do what makes you happy, not what makes your family happy. If they love you, truly, then they will understand, forgive, and be happy for you when you find someone you can love and be happy with.

^ not one nor the other, but both is how I meant it.

Hmm, if you guys are reasonably financially secure and she’s putting her job before you ALL THE TIME… perhaps she doesn’t love you as much as might be thought… in which case, happiness again. *shrugs lightly* I don’t know her side enough to be able to determine that.

So then are you willing to sacrifice the potential happiness of the rest of your life simply so that you won’t hurt her?

*nods* fair enough

amandacolene

June 3, 2005

I can’t reply in a private note as you don’t have that option turned on…when you turn it on I’ll answer you:)

ryn~diary maintenence(or however you spell that word!), privacy settings, make the circle next to “allow private notes” its near the bottom of the page.

nothing wrong w/ not being single! and sorry you can’t do it?

Lhorl

RYN: Nobody said it was but at least they can acknowledge that sometimes they do that and work towards trying to stop. One who doesn’t know or denies that they are hypocrites can’t do anything to stop it now can they? Everybody is a hypocrite in some shape or form but most deny or don’t know it and it causes untold suffering of others.

RelativeTruth

Ryn: My apologies, for I am a serious person. I disagree with you, but ‘to each his own’. School teaches us many things; few are actually of use and or feasable.

Follow your morals and do what you believe is right. Perhaps your God will help you, perhaps things will fix themselves. One can not choose how they love. Only how they act upon love, and that part is widely disputed.