Road to Christianity

for me, the road to christianity is so equisitly bumpy. i’ve been drawn to it under such a whim, it’s hard to brush it off as coincidence. i wouldn’t consider myself Christian though. i just feel that i might be on the path to Christianity.

there has to be something to a religious belief that has been around for over 2000 years. there has to be something about a man that influenced so many millions (if not billions) of people over the years. there has to be some truth in all the political mess that i saw around the organized christian religions of today.

but where is one to start to look? i’m certainly no biblical expert. i’m not a history buff. i don’t even own a bible. i don’t really understand what christianity is. i don’t know who Jesus was. i also don’t have a clue what he stands for. but why was (and is) he such an influencial figure in society? what’s wrong with him being such a figure either?

why is there so much confusion, hatred and chaos in the world around us? why are we so obsessed with control about everything in our lives? why is it that i hold onto the notion that i have control in my life? how can i let go of what little i think i know about myself, to something that is completely unknown to me? how can i let go of what i’ve experienced for so many years as ‘truth’? how can i experience this ‘wonderful faith’ that is so spoken of in Christianity when i cannot even let go of my hedonistic tendancies?

i decided a while ago that there must be something to this ‘christianity thing’ if it’s lasted for so many years. but what is this? when i talk to my pastor at the church i’m going to, he eludes to original sin quite often.