3/19/04

“The mind is separated between the ego and the holy spirit. The holy spirit speaks for God and therefore only speaks the truth. When you listen to it, you know. The ego wants you to believe in it’s own misperceptions. a mind that is separated between ego and spirit. you only have one mind. or more specifically, the ego is in conflict with the holy spirit, the holy spirit, does not fight. the ego is the part of you that needs to conceptualize everything, the part that attaches to the physical world, the part that makes you feel guilt, fear, lonely, that tells you you are less than.the ego will try to, but the the holy spirit cannot be corrupted.

because nothing real can be threatened. nothing unreal exists.”

I will try to argue that this defeats itself

yeah…but I think otherwise. you think they can live in one place…mind, but then yo uhave to think that the mind is a place that has two mutually exclusive events within them… I dont’ see that the mind can contain the holy spirit and the ego… i dont’ think they are mutually exclusive either (you need one or the other even though they aren’t a part of each other). I see the heart as holding the mutually exclusive even (reality) of Holy Spirit. I see the Mind as a place for ego… but not exclusively ego. that is where we differ. it is not confusing for me be this way. i’m confused how two mutually exclusive events can share a union (ego has conflict wtih holy spirit, holy spirit does not have conflict with ego). that would show that they are in fact together and not separate. Therefore, one cannot be perfect (holy spirit) if there is conflict. ego threatens holy spirit…therefore holy spirit does not exist under this belief.

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March 19, 2004

I don’t believe the mind is separated into fractions of ego and holy spirit. I think the holy spirit descends and gives us those moments where we think ‘wow that wasn’t my thought, that was divine.’ I think we have to have ego (love thyself) in order to love others. I am not talking about that vain ego. ryn. yes, but I am very pathetic. I do say my morning and night prayers & that keeps me sane

Thank you for reading my diary and for leaving your notes. I appreciate it. Your questions are hard. I know very little about Buddhism. And the term ego is often not precisly defined. So to connect sin with these two is hard for me. I’d probably miss the intent of the question by a mile.