Trying to Decide

I started writing an entry a week or so ago, but it ended up longer than I thought and went in a completely different direction than I had planned. I saved it as a draft multiple times because I had to walk away and come back, but then I questioned whether I wanted to make it all public. Maybe I’ll get back to it, or maybe I’ll just leave it be.

I think I only have a week left of my free membership. I’m trying to decide if I’m going to pay to continue. I still try to stop by every day to see if people are updating, but a lot of times there is nothing new for me to read on my Friends list. I know it’s hard to get back in the habit of writing (clearly) and I keep hoping it’ll pick up around here and develop a new sense of community.

I had my year end review at work and what should have left me feeling great (higher than average score, higher than average raise) actually left me wondering if  my peer got a higher score and a bigger raise and if I’m less valued now than I was before. I’ve always been the star pupil, and at our mid year review, I was told that I received a four (out of five) so I could receive a five at year end, something to advance to as the year got harder, except I got a four at year end too, and the way ratings are distributed means somebody else got the five.

Year end reviews that are supposed to be a bell curve are a real morale killer.