Only a Matter of Days…

I had to rush to write my next entry, because I didn’t wanna sleep on it. I refused. Another one bites the dust, y’all. I know I haven’t spoken much about women I have dated since Miss Germany, but I haven’t found the space in my mind to do so. But tonight rushed my thoughts to write now, so I can get it outta my system. So the Miss Savannah era as we know it as finally been put to an end.

Why?

Without anger, I just refuse to have ANOTHER woman diminish what I have done to and for them as a sacrifice. Refuse. It’s a damn shame that as much as women want a good man, a good looking man supposedly, a good man who treats them like the highest regard still act like they don’t respect and cherish whats in front their faces. She told me I had anger problems, but after 8 months of sacrifice and loving her.. I felt like she was using me, so of course in my mind, I feel like I was being used and it angers me that after showing you who I am and what I can do to make you feel special as a Queen.. you still basically shit on me. Yeah, I stay upset. I came in the middle of the night to your town to see you.. alone… and scared. I coulda ran into deer or something like that. I got on a bus this past holiday for her in the night hour. My thing is.. if you fake, then stay like that. She can be sweet, but she is scared of being hurt again. I been hurt, too.. but if I reach out and extend my hand and show that we are in this thang together… it should soften your heart up some especially if you know its genuine. I am continuously convinced women are drawn to ugly men that are assholes. They are not ready or willing to get with a man, who will go to the ends of the Earth for them. And to have what I have done for YOU to be downgrade like … you only did a little for me… is like telling me to suck your dick or something like that. Its crazy and it pisses me off that women treat REAL MEN like this. It’s not just me.. its others. I get just as mad when men treat WOMEN like that. Its sickening. And its a plague that seem to never end anytime soon. This is coming from the same woman who is afraid to stand up for me and come see me.. ALONE. I mean, I did it for you. Where is the equality? This is the same woman who has every excuse on Earth to not wanna be with me. EVERY EXCUSE. Yeah, I know I am whining right now, but I am hurt yet again and pissed off at ungenuine ass women. You can’t compare me to your exboyfriend, who basically didn’t give a damn about you for 3 years… for several months… because I do/did. Yeah, I showed you another side of me, because I am tired of this shull bit with women. Straight up and down. We were great freinds with spectacular chemistry.

And whats so sad is that she will not even look in the mirror and say.. maybe its ME… maybe I am the reason why I am not with this wonderful man that other women are jealous that I have. Shit like women going up to her about me and adoring me dont even faze me. I am just saying.. But its all good. I am being blessed right now. And with these blessings, you have to keep kicking folk out your life. Its pitiful too. Out of all the women I have dated since August 2007, she is the only one I have argued with. The others and myself parted on mutual grounds for various reasonable reasons. But it IS anger. Marvin Gaye spoke on it and I feel it. Sorry Marvin, I know .. Anger destroys your soul, but you felt pain too from heartache/heartbreak. I am convinced all black women are damn near the same …  but maybe with this entry, I have truly showed my ass and my unattractiveness… I guess I am truly ugly physically.. cause at the end of the day, she will get off scott free and blame me for my past, my anger, my impatience, my immaturity, my lack of doing anything for her.. yeah, I guess I am terrible at the end of the day.. even in the eyes of an unappreciative member of the church choir, whom I loved dearly and definitely saw in the highest regard. My future wifey, an unappreciative/full of games member of the church choir.. I know, I know .. its all my fault and I did nothing for you.. thats why I hung up.. thats why I am ending it like this.

It is only a matter of time before they take me.