Equilibrium (Part 2)

One day, a family stopped in the park. I don’t think that they had an intention of going to the merry-go-round, but the kids wanted to play on it. The son and daughter played for a while, and the two parents sat on the bench opposite me watching their kids. I would occasionally look up from the book I was reading to see the kids having the time of their lives without cares in the world. It made me smile.

—-

Since there were so many bike paths around my apartment, one day I decided to take up rollerblading. The people that passed me by in the park seemed to enjoy it, so I figured I could give it a try. And I enjoyed it for a while. I spent some of my alone time exploring the bike paths, further than I ever had before when I was just walking.

About two months after I started rollerblading, though, I broke my leg. I had gotten too comfortable and confident in my “skills” at rollerblading that I got distracted. I was thinking about my dream house, and then I saw a rabbit run across my path in front of me. I tried to follow the rabbit with my eyes, while I was still moving. But I didn’t notice that I had veered to the right. My right blade hit the grass, and sent me flying. My right leg ran into a tree which couldn’t have been more than two or three feet away from the path.

I had to use crutches for a month.

With the difficulty in walking, I rarely ever visited the park. And it wasn’t just the fact that it hurt to walk. It seemed that it wasn’t the place for me to go. Things being the way they were, in fact, I didn’t feel like I had any place to go at all. I still did my job, but I spent the rest of the time in my apartment by myself.

When my leg was broken, I felt more lost than I ever did when I was a kid. I felt off balanced and frail. I was actually afraid. I felt like something bad was happening to me, and my life was spinning around.

My job was fine. I didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with that.

When I was alone in my apartment with my broken leg, I realized that I had a part of my personality that I had been ignoring. All the time I had been in the park, I realized what I liked the most: seeing other people.

It never struck me before. I hadn’t really needed people. But something happened to me when my right leg was broken. I gave something up. My pride disappeared. I stopped needing to be alone. I stopped needing to be safe.

—-

When I was working, I would think about making friends with the people I would work for, and work with. I had some social parties at my apartment for acquaintances from work. People seemed to like me for the first time that I could remember. Maybe people always liked me, but I never seemed to notice or care.

I knew that I was becoming a romantic. Once my socialization started, I knew that I wanted a perfect relationship, like we always see in the movies. It seemed to me that I deserved it. But I don’t know who deserves it. Maybe no one does. Maybe we all do. But I wanted it more than I wanted anything.

I didn’t know where to look. I knew I wouldn’t be able to find it at bars, or in clubs. I didn’t figure I would find it at work.

Eventually, I started going back to the park with the merry-go-round. I didn’t go as often, but I would sometimes go, and read, and watch people, just like I used to.

—-

One day I went to the park, and there were construction signs. The path running north and south was blocked off by a barricade that said “Under Construction.” The strange thing, though, was that all four of the benches were fenced off.

I really felt like being in the park that day, so I sat on the merry-go-round. No one was around, and I didn’t figure that any kids would come by to play on it.

I just figured that I would sit without the merry-go-round moving. But when I sat down, it didn’t feel right. So, I started spinning slowly.

It was an interesting perception. I could see down one side of the path, and then it would disappear, and the other would be visible. It seemed like they were two separate paths with no connection. Two separate worlds. But they looked the same. They could have even been the same paths.

The paths seemed especially empty that day. I don’t remember if I actually saw anyone out that day. Everything was empty. I didn’t even see an animal for such a long time. Usually, the birds would fly all around the park, since the trees were so heavily populated, and the area was relatively free of humans.

After a while, I sensed that something had changed. The empty area felt less empty, and I felt like I wasn’t alone. It took me a while to realize what it was.

While I was passing between the two paths, I saw a bird sitting on one of the “Under Construction” signs. The bird wasn’t moving much. I could tell it was alive, but it just looked at me. I continued spinning slowly, and saw that there was another bird on the other sign, in the same position as the other one. They were both just looking at me.

I was confused. I didn’t know why they would sit in those spots, and not move. But I just kept spinning.

A few minutes later, I sensed something else. It took me a bit to realize that the merry-go-round had shifted slightly. Slowly I turned around. Someone was sitting in the same position I was sitting, directly across from me. She was facing out, so I couldn’t see her face.

I just sat there while keeping the merry-go-round going, and I kept looking at the girl. Eventually, she slowly turned her head around, and I saw her.

—-

She loved my design for my dream house, so I had it built.