September 15th 2024

As I said I consider myself an OG Open Diary author – this is actually my 3rd online diary.  Publicly sharing has given me peace, a sense of community, and its my therapy.  My first diary was 2001 – and it ran up until 2009 (estimate), sadly I don’t remember its name or the e-mail associated with it to re-read my life; to see how my future hopes and dreams played out. My second attempt at healing was September 2024; 6 short months ago.  It was the time frame that I had all but confirmed my significant other was cheating on me.  I was bitter, I was all over the place, it was not cohesive to my liking. I felt like I had spew 20 year of baggage in a 72 hour period.  There is no way that is helpful. It led to intense over thinking and anxiety. I abandoned it a short time after. Much like the actions proceeding, it was shoved to the back, waiting to resurface.  Fast forward to the present. I re-started a week after my world crumbled.  It took a week for my brain to process daily functions.

I would hope you visit my homepage to inquire more about me – that is where you can find the details; who, what, and why’s.  Along with a must read important announcement.  Seems petty one would think, but given the situation its 100% a necessity.  Not to mention sharing for the soul purpose of vindication is weird. To be so callous that you have to use someone’s feelings against them is where we are different.

September 15th 2024 – that was the day I decided I was done with my marriage. Per my writings.  I thought about sharing the writings here, however I am embarrassed.  I’m not sure who that woman was that was writing but she was full of bullshit. I was not strong. I was in denial. I continued to try and put effort into our relationship. Definitely not 100% effort, not even 75% – we’ll go a solid 40%. I had stopped giving all the efforts because my gut, my intuition was telling me something was off.  To protect my inner peace and what little bit of sanity I had, I started to close doors and pull back.

It was almost exactly 6 months to the day that she choose to end things and exploit the affair.

February 21st 2025

February 21st – the day your fantasy life became reality.  Only thing is you never thought reality would happen.  As you said yourself “You didn’t think about the consequences”, “You didn’t plan to ever tell me”, “You thought she was bluffing and wasn’t going to tell me” – you gave zero thought about the consequences for life altering choices.

February 21st – the day you you decided you wanted me. You were giving 100%. You wanted us.

If you wait until you are ready, it is almost certainly too late.

Seth Godin

⁑ DISCLAIMER ⁑
Remember: you are reading MY “perspective” of given events.  These writings are MY feelings; whether they are present tense – written in the moment, past tense – drafted during the day, or anticipated – futuristic.  All information provided is what I know from the information I have been given. As with any and every situation there are multiple sides to share the account. It is at the discretion of the reader to which side they favor.