February 24, 2012

Urgh, Don’t Read – it’s just lame and depressing

Aw, man. I am not getting off to a good start today. *pre-warning* I’m probably just gonna whinge here, so go find something better to read, it’s cool.

I had plans to go out, get a bit of breakfast, do a bit of shopping, etc. But then I find out Mat accidentally took my purse into work with him, which means I can’t really do… anything outside of the apartment. I mean, yeah, I could go for a walk, but fuck that.

So I make a gourmet breakfast of bananas on toast because I am clearly a kitchen god, (actually it was pretty good) and then I see on Facebook that my friends had like, a sort of dinner party evening thing last night. I’ve mentioned before that I’m shit at making friends, but I’d actually managed to make a couple here in Antwerp. Usually I’d invite them round to mine and cook up something yummy and we’d all have an evening of eating and drinking and general messing around.

It just kinda sucked to see that they’d gone and done all that at someone else’s house and not invited me. Like, I don’t have those evenings just to get invites back or anything, I do it because I enjoyed their company, cooking for a group, hanging out, etc. It makes me feel kind of shit that they don’t really enjoy my company enough to reciprocate when they have an evening at theirs.

I dunno, I’m probably just moaning about nothing, but it’s made me feel shit because I have such trouble fitting in as it is, and it’s not other people’s duty to make sure I feel okay or whatever. I just wanna be included I guess.

God I feel shit.

It’s crazy, this type of situation is the one thing that can make me go from any sort of mood into SUPER FUCKING DEPRESSED. There’s are plenty of things that piss me off or upset me and all that, but I’m pretty good at just getting over them and continuing with my day, but when I’m left out of things it just makes me remember all the times it’s happened before with so many different people.

There’s that saying that the problem isn’t the rest of the world, it’s with you.

I always turn to that saying in situations like this, because it really isn’t possible that so many people leave me out of things because there’s something wrong with all of them. There’s obviously something wrong with me. I just really REALLY wish I knew what it was.

Fuck! I’m just all in tears now this is so pathetic. I am sat on my own on a Saturday morning, typing on the internet about how I’m shit. What a great way to lead my life. I wish I wasn’t so sensitive about this issue! I wish I could just be like "Fuck them! I’ll have fun on my own!" No no, I just sit on my own and cry.

God, Mat’s the only person who actually endures my company long term. He must be really fucked up or something.

Urgh.

If you actually read this, I’m very sorry for you. It’s highly likely you can see exactly why I’m shit at making friends and all that bollocks. In fact, maybe if I just read this entry out loud I’ll see what I knob I am.

XxX

I feel bad for you. Go do something nice for yourself like have a long bath and a cup of tea. Sort yourself out an make yourself all lovely etc and before you know it Matt will be back with your wallet 🙂 Its not even 12 yet, most shopping centres are open till 9 on a saturday 🙂 there is still time 🙂 Xx

Hmm. I genuinely cannot see why they’d not invite you. You seem quite excellent to me. You also seem fairly hardy and self-sufficient which might make people put you in a box where they think you’re fine, doing your own thing and they forget to ask you places. I know I do that to my friend Nicky and she is brilliant, I just sometimes forget that she might want to spend time with me…

I think they probably didn’t deliberately exclude you, otherwise it would have been a secret, rather than plastered all over facebook. Which makes them stupid and thoughtless and inconsiderate – it doesn’t make you the cunt. That said, who gives a shit what their reasons are because you feel shit anyway and I’m sorry you do because you deserve a lovely Saturday of brilliance, not internet woe.

Natz

February 25, 2012

Error, Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re on the right track with your comment (“Fuck them! I’ll have fun on my own”). Some people are more gifted at making friends than others. Take me for example, the only friends I have I’ve never actually SEEN in real life. All of my mates from High School have moved on with their lives. So, yea, fuck ’em and have fun by yourself. With Love,

Honestleigh

Yeah,i read all through your whine because well, you always read mine. I understand completely. I felt like that many times in nebraska….. Maybe you could present it like a joke….be like, dude, who do I gotta blow to get an invite to chill? Lol

I would totally invite you to my house.maybe you would redesign it. Lol I heart you girl.

Fuck no. I keep that shit a secret. Are you kidding me? ! ?

February 26, 2012

<3 Maybe my fairy tale is you. LOL 🙂

One Angry Dwarf

I’ve felt this way, like, a lot. Even fairly recently. Shit, I felt this way yesterday, to a degree. My brother tends to make plans with other people. People I know. People I am pretty close friends with. Then when I ask if he has any time that weekend, he makes it clear the ONLY time he has is when he’s already hanging out with these other people. And THEN he obligatorily invites me. EXCEPT IT’S NOT OBLIGATORY, YO. And that’s what I have to tell myself, AND you. Sometimes people just suck at remembering who to include in their planning. They don’t even think about it, especially if you’re new to the group. Integrating friend circles is always a challenge, because we all have our habits, and we tend to invite the same people to the same shit every time and never branch out. I bet if someone had been all, “Maaan, why is Rose not here?” everyone else would have been like “holy crap we should have invited her because she’s MADE OF AWESOME.” In summary: My brain does this too, but my brain is wrong, so your brain is probably wrong too. Stop it, Brains. We are your leaders!

You are certainly MY fairy tale. 🙂 *licks your cheek* rofl

Rusted Armour

February 27, 2012

RYN: I really liked the Oz bit, too. I’m assuming Fincher left it out because he didn’t want to actually have to depict sunshine.

Totutu

“I could go for a walk, but fuck that.”….sounds like I wrote that. 🙂 I don’t know why it’s so hard to find a “group”. Human beings are ridiculously good at excluding their own kind. I myself am the worst when it comes to making friends so I can offer no advice or tips. Only empathy.

Holly GoDarkly

February 28, 2012

Well, I’m thinking the only possible explanation is that people in Belgium are immune to AWESOME. Cheer up sweetie… xxx

imprisoned_confusion

March 2, 2012

Oh man, I have the exact same feelings as you do about this stuff. Its a terrible feeling. But dude, your personality is so kickass and Im sure it wasnt intentional. Sometimes I do group things and dont even think twice about an “invite” list. I just kind of ask some people and sometimes they ask others. You’re way cooler than them anyway, Im sure of it.

Ryn? What is RC

RYN: I know what ur talking about now and I dunno? You would have to ask the person who put me on there..But it was very Sweet of her!! I had no idea until I got your note…

I think so. I had a parcel, which was too big to go in my letterbox, so I have had to redirect it to the post-office and I collect it tomorrow. I am very excited! xxx

omg!! this is me!! and it only recently occurred to me like 3 weeks ago that the problem must be me!! ugh it’s such a shitty feeling getting ditched.. im sorry..

YAY! I went to the post office and it was your parcel! Thank you so much! I will post a pic when I make them into things, I promise. By the way, my name is Serena Murphy. My sister shortened it to Rene when I was a kid. You gave the post office woman a laugh with your addressing though! Thanks again xxxx

Yeah, usually REEEEEN! (in response to some gross remark or other). Maybe I AM your old English teacher! Bwahahahahaha!

Definitely not. Mainly because you are not a raging twatbag!