Things I Don’t Get

Is it just me or are those "Four Funny Bastards" really not funny at all? Hey hey, I’m not looking to get hate notes here if everyone on this site secretly  (or openly) loves those guys, it’s just that every so often I seem to stumble across it and it’s like sitting in a stranger’s living room with all their friends, feeling uncomfortable that you have no idea what they’re all talking about and wondering why you’re not laughing. Hmmm…

Anyway, here is 2012, the year of doom according to that lazy shit who stopped working on the Mayan calendar just to fuck with us all. Perhaps another thing I just don’t get. If I remember correctly, there are loads of reasons that this year will be somewhat apocalytpic, but I think one of the reasons was because the ancient Mayan calendar runs out this year. Which clearly spells the end of the world. Ah, here we go, Wikipedia sorts out the facts:

"Scholars from various disciplines have dismissed the idea of such cataclysmic events occurring in 2012. Professional Mayanist scholars state that predictions of impending doom are not found in any of the extant classic Maya accounts, and that the idea that the Long Count calendar "ends" in 2012 misrepresents Maya history and culture. Astronomers and other scientists have rejected the proposed events as pseudoscience, stating that they are contradicted by simple astronomical observations."

But also, geez, the Mayans bothered to write their calendar way in the future until 2012, and people are just like "OH WELL THAT’S THE APOCALYPSE THEN!". These guys had some serious patience! Didn’t they ever just think that the Mayans thought, "we’ll stop at 2012, that’s way in the future, we’ll have time to make more calendars…"

Whilst we’re on the subject of things I don’t get, what the hell is with death/thrash/black/doom/whatever metal? I happened upon a video by Dimmu Borgir the other day (here if you’re interested) and thought to myself, are these guys serious? The costumes, the drama, the blood baths (literally), the theatrics, the over the top wailing and clutching and gnashing of teeth…. I asked someone who knows metal, and apparently yes. They are. 

This makes me sad. Whyyyyyy? If they were taking the piss or just being dramatic then I would get it, and chortle along, but this is their serious statement. In fact, my metal friend just elaborated:

"Mayhem are really responsible for it; maybe they weren’t the first to wear it but they definitely popularised its use, now most bands do it because it’s what the old bands did then, and traditions die hard. Without the facepaint they’d just be regular metallers with a bit of a hard-on for spikes in their bracelets.

The first few Black Metal bands started because they were fed up of the way things were going with most Death Metal bands, and wanted to make more extreme and heavy music. A few bands form, a few demos are recorded and a new scene burgeons. Someone sings about Satan, then they all start singing about Satan, claiming it’s defiance against the Christian culture of Norway. A singer commits suicide, a few churches are burnt down, a couple of people are murdered, a media frenzy throws a little Satanic Panic into Norway and somewhere in all the mess some dudes that look like KISS release some albums.

Every band that’s followed since has tried to be as "evil" as the original dudes who praised Satan were portrayed by the media; at the time, the guys involved were in their late teens or early twenties. The guy from Dimmu Borgir is 35, and still serious."

So… I guess I understand it, but unfortunately it makes me see these bands as totally lame. Comeon now, do they really think that painting their faces will make them look evil and badass? LAME!

Anyway, sorry if this is a little disjointed, I’ve been distracted by 

a) the fact that I gave up smoking a few days ago, and

b) my wrist is being a huge douchebag again, it’s intensely painful and Google has no answers on the subject. I actually stopped writing this entry a hour ago just to find SOMETHING on the web, any sort of vague conclusion as to what this shit is all about. Nothing matches up, it’s so annoying! >:(

It’s basically: intense pain inside my left wrist, so much so that I either won’t or can’t move it in any direction. There’s no swelling, redness, tingling or numbness, and it comes every three months or so, and stays around for about a week and a half – just enough time for me to plan on ringing the doctor, and then it goes before I can see him.

COME ON GUYS – BE DOCTORS AT ME, DIAGNOSE MY VAGUE AILMENT.

Ah fuck, it’s too painful to keep typing, this is all you get for today, suckahhhhs.

xxx