Finally!

Hmmm…lotion in pants….why do I think of masturbation?! Lmfao. You know you love me. Grin!

R: That’s the great part, though–they’re launching a new thing where you don’t have to do full-length list articles. You can write short-form comediez. YAY! Also dude. That… is one of those clothing ideas that makes me simultaneously hate things and desperately want some. Like, my aloe vera socks made me happier than anything in the world. But the problem is, I washed themONCE and it was GONE. How is it going to be permanently in the pants-fabric? ARE THEY MAGICIANS?!

R: Is the cellulite thing true too?! Cos damn. If it is, I would marry those pants.

I am an easy pants fit, so if I can order that shit online, I will totally do it. Even if they’re a zillion trillion dollars.

ryn: How can murder victims get offended by a joke about killing someone if they are no longer alive? If murder victims could somehow survive murder, then they likely wouldn’t find it funny next time they heard a murder joke.