Chunky Monkey

You know what’s awesome? Waking up, riding my shiny town bike to go get a magazine and then sitting by myself in Le Pain Quotidien drinking hot chocolate out of a little bowl and eating a freshly baked croissant. Every time I’m riding by bike through the cobbled streets, with something nice from the local bakery tired to the little rack over by bike wheel, I feel so damned European. Everything here is so quaint and traditional, and I get to do this every weekend.

Tonight I’m going out with some of the marketing interns and a new girl starting at Lee. Should be a good night, they’re all young and chatty and fun. When I go out with the 30-somethings from work, they talk about gardening and work and all sorts of things I generally don’t fancy talking about. These guys just gossip and bitch and all the rest of that wonderfully indulgent conversation. I gotta admit, I enjoy gossiping way more than I enjoy gardening.

Other than that, I’ve pretty much got the weekend to myself, since Mat is working. I’d like to go to Holland and get more weed but I really have to stop smoking it so I’m restraining myself. It sounds stupid, since weed isn’t chemically addictive, but it’s definitely still diificult to stop when you smoke it every day. It’s just such a wonderful way of unwinding, and when you’ve built up a tolerance for it, it’s not like when you first get high and everything goes wonky, it just lets you sit there in a hazy bubble, ignoring the world for a few hours whilst you do something mindless and pointless, like a jigsaw puzzle or watching the entire series of Malcom in the MIddle.

It’s difficult when you stop smoking because then after each work day, you don;t feel like you’re winding down anymore. You’re not as laid back so things irritate you more. It only happens for a few days but because weed is so easy to buy, it’s in those first couple of days that you always go back and buy more. Because you think "Oh, this will be fine, I’ll quit when THIS stuff runs out. It’ll only do me damage if I smoke it for a few more years anyway, and I’ll have totally given up by then.". But if you think you need to give up, you should always do it RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

It’s like eating sensibly/dieting. You can always be like "I’ll start that diet tomorrow, cause right now I want this big fat cake and anyway I totally don’t intend to be fat forever, and you can’t lose weight immediately anyway, so I’ll just confront this issue at another time."

And then you get to 50 and you’re still overweight and smoking weed and what the hell have you done with your life? All you have to show for it is you can quote any episode of Malcom in the Middle and the record for fattest doobie out of you and your boyfriend.

So if I want to be slim and not high, I have to stop TODAY! Not tomorrow or next week or whatever. But when I say stop, I’m not going on some tee-total anorexia binge (heh). I’ll still eat nice things, just in moderation, occasionally. And maybe I’ll still have the odd spliff, but smoking every day and eating crap every day is not cool.

Woah, I really didn’t see this entry turning into some self-directed pep-talk. I also didn’t forsee so many hyphens.

XxX