*sigh*
7 months. On the 24th of February we’d been together for 7 months. This past weekend was the first time either of us had gotten even irritated with one another.
I kept harping on the moving in subject. I didn’t mean to…but everytime I’d bring it up he’d stop talking. Felt like he blowing me off. LIke he was just telling me what I wanted to hear. Blah. My temper got the better of me and I tried to pick a fight. We didn’t argue. I had to leave to pick up my munchkin and when I got back he had started drinking. I apparently upset him so badly he went outside and finished tearing apart the fridge and getting hammered. When I got back he expressed how dealthy afraid he is that I’ll start to resent him and that it will cause problems in our relationship. We literally have the perfect relationship and he doesn’t want to cause any extra stress for me. Granted, I understand the commute will be 1hr15mins. I get there will be wear and tear on my car and my gas costs will be higher. But…right now I’m living out of a bag. I bring it to Matt’s then I bring it back to Darlene’s. Clothes go from bag to washer and then back to bag. I hate feeling like Im in a hotel room Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I hate sleeping alone, I hate forgetting things at either house. I hate that ‘home’ is with him and that I don’t get to go ‘home’ every night. He finally asked me to move in, but made me promise that if the drive starts to affect our relationship we will figure out how to change the situation. I.e. me moving back closer to work or pushing harder to get a transfer.
It was adorable…after we had talked he asked Sam what he thought. If him and mommy should move in and make Matt’s home their home. He nodded with the biggest grin ever. Then Matt told him his room would really be his room now. Sam responded with, "My room is white." Hahaha…think he means he wants it painted if it’s really going to be his room. Matt told him we’d go to Lowes and pick out a color for him. Asked what color and sam said, "Red! …..Blue. *Shrugs* Whatevever!" Lol. He’s such a dork. I love my kid. =)
I’m excited. We decided to wait two weeks. One reason being I need to give Darlene more notice, and the other being he wants me to take the next two weeks to REALLY think about it and make sure this is what I want. That I can handle the commute and it won’t cause problems between us. I can’t wait. I can’t wait to be in his arms every night. To kiss him goodnight and wake up to him being there. To hear him tell me he loves me every day instead of reading it in a text. (We don’t talk on the phone, ever. Neither of us are big phone people.) I’m ready to be home. Have a home. Stop feeling like I don’t really belong anywhere.
If someone would have told me a year ago that I’d be this happy with someone I’d have laughed in their face. That Matt would be my soulmate…I’d have definitely thought they lost their mind. But he truly is amazing, and I have never been happier. Sam adores him and Matt loves Sam as if he were his own. Hell, Sam listens to him more than he does me.
John is being weird again. Sending me texts about how much he loves me and how I was the best thing to ever happen to him. Bleh. Get a grip. Never going to happen again. So sorry for ya.
Had the new Regional Director come around to our stores today. She seems nice, but I dunno what she said about my store after she left. She seemed to like what she saw though. Sucks though, I took out my nose ring so I wouldn’t get yelled at…I frickin lost it. And it had already started to close up before I could go buy a new one. Bled when I put it in. Ick! Now it’s all sore again. =( Just when it was getting close to being completely healed up!
Anywho, I think I’ve written enough today. Guess I should start going through some stuff and weeding out the trash I’ve accumulated.
Laters.