And baby, I’ve never felt this good before.

My internet connection is absolutely horrid so I haven’t been writting much. It’s annoying to have to wait for my internet connection to come back on before submitting an entry. I keep having to unplug my wireless adapter to reset it. Meh.

This weekend I decided to let Matt read a few entries from my other diary. The one where I write about my past. I haven’t written in it in a while. I guess I just have been trying to focus on other things. Anyhow, I had mentioned it to him last week and that it he was interested I would let him read some of it. After a few drinks I got brave enough to let him read the first two entries. One is about my brother and the other is about my ex, John. He made it half way through the first entry and had to stop. "I can’t read this….I’m sorry, I had an idea…but I didn’t know. I didn’t really know." After a few minutes he started to read again. I started to cry at some point and he consoled me. Telling me that he would never let things like that happen to me again, he would protect me and that none of it changed his views of me. That nothing could ever lessen the love he has for me. "The past is what made you the wonderful woman that I love and it helps me understand why you are the way you are, but it would never change how much I love you."

At one I was on his lap with my head buried in his shoulder…he was talking, just consoling me…showing his support and making some comments about the entries. He was moving from one subject to another and then he says, "Would you think I was crazy if I told you I was already thinking about marriage? That I’ve already started looking at wedding rings… I’m serious. I know I haven’t given you that promise ring yet, but it’s not far off."

I get that part of me should be afraid…scared, and I am…but…if he asked me today I would say yes. Because I guess I’m crazy too….I’ve already thought about it. I know he’s it for me. He is the one. He makes me so incredibly happy…and to know that he is on the same page…it’s amazing. I thought I was crazy for already having those thoughts, but when you know it’s right it just is. I didn’t say anything. I guess I should have, but I was still crying slightly. My face was still buried in his neck and I didn’t trust myself to talk. I knew it would just set off another gush of tears.

I feel like things are moving fast with us, sometimes too fast, but at the same time…not fast enough. I don’t think that makes sense.

I’m meeting the parents on Thanksgiving. I’m slightly panicked about this. I’ve never "met the parents" before. And this is important…because I know they’re be family one day. Holy crap…I just freaked myself out even more. Breathe…. It’s not a big deal, Ashley. They’re going to love you! Yeah, yeah… I can recite those words as much as I like I’m still going to be a ball of nerves when I meet them. Good thing they’re drinkers…I’m going to need alcohol to make it through that night. lol.

Anyhow…I think I’m going to go read. I haven’t read much in a while. I miss it. So, tonight I’m going to relax and start one of the many books I have sitting on my bookshelf that have yet to be read.

Laters. =)