making it last

i think part of my problem is that i think "oh i feel really good right now. i am living and its enjoyable to say the least."

then i think "shit. its going to suck when i stop feeling like this."

so i will try my damndest..definately not spell right even though i did try variations and none looked as good..to stay in the present moment.

after going to the beach with claud and encountering the biggest waves yet we headed to the market to pick up some fresh cilantro. in the parking lot i spotted a toyota camry with a canoe strapped to the top. knew right away that it was my family. because who else does that sort of thing? so i went over to say hello. then claud and i went back to the house and steve was there. we made a fire to cook the potatoes on. then tried making falafel. it was delicious even though they dont have a deep fryer so we only got a couple good ones out of the whole batch. the oil was always too hot or too cool. after dinner we headed back to the beach.

waves still huge. there were instances where i would be fearful of getting sucked under. then i would realize that my fear isnt going to stop the wave from taking me. i relaxed my body and went with the flow.

headed home to bring the fire back to life and make smores. i took more tylenol pm so im almost down for the count.

the night was enchanting. stars above our heads. the surrounding trees lit up by an orange glow. embers from the fire would shoot up and dance with the fireflies. i made my own constellation. its right near one of the dippers..its called oceania. a surfer about to conquer one hell of a wave.

dont ask me why i am so enthralled with the ocean all of a sudden. i mean..i can give reasons. descriptions of how the water makes me feel. i am so fucking calm in the torrent of water rushing around me. and im sure everyone is getting sick of my writing about it. o well. its making me happy and thats what counts.

im getting kind of sleepy.

catkin if youre reading this: i havent talked to you in a while. im sure that youre busy. but i hope youre having as good a summer as i seem to be having. come to the beach with me sometime.

everyone else still reading: thanks for being great listeners. i hope your summers are going fantastic as well. come to the beach with me sometime :o)

-jess.