You’re a few years overdue..

I didn’t write much here over the year and more so since I returned to the site. Many times I tell myself I need to write more here—get back into the habit.  The thing is I don’t feel as if I want to write about the things that happen in my life and of the mundane. When this site first came into my life I needed it. It was one of my saving graces, there was also things that brought up bad times, and things that I wished not to keep. I saved only a handful of entries and then deleted the entire diary. There were lots of memories and notes. There were things I know I can never get back, but some of those things were things I would rather not have in my life and things that I don’t want to hold on to.  Several years from the time I was 18 to about 23—I suffered from self harm and depression. This was my outlet and now I am happy to report that I am no longer in the place. I kept that diary for ten years and privatized most of my entries and leaving only those I wanted. My writing was very sporadic but I still wrote. How long has it been since my last entry?

I should try to write here more and maybe just write to write. I say this so often though. I never know what to write about. I could recap my entire year thus far, and maybe I will. This year was much more better than last. I didn’t even go into detail in full about last year and I really just didn’t want to. Again I don’t want things recorded here when I had to live them. I could have used this outlet but I just chose music. Music has definitely been a saving grace and the one thing  that I could always turn to. Songs saved my life, they made me smile, they made memories, and the singers that sang them and bands just helped in ways I wonder if they know. When I had the chance to meet Keith Urban last year, I thanked him. His music got me through one of the hardest times in my life and it meant the world to me.

Tomorrow night my inner twenty something goes to see a band she found from this very site. The Get Up Kids. My inner twentysomething never went to concerts like I do now. I really don’t have the actual means right now money wise to see this band.. but you know what sometimes  you just gotta go and live. And that’s exactly what Im doing. I will see a band that I listened to so many times during those dark times twenty years later, and my inner twenty something year old will be happy. I remember listening to this entire cd on repeat. I can’t wait to hear this song! Lets hope they play it.