I’ve Got the Greatest View From Here

1999. Late night boredom and the site Bored.com. It was over ten years ago when I found Opendiary. I was among its first to have come to the site. When its closing happened I had long stopped using it the way I had for many years, over ten years to be exact. I simply found myself in a better place. Over the years I spent with Opendiary it saw some of my most darkest days, in fact several long years of dark days. Days when I held on to a single thread of hope. The closing of this site broke my heart, and nothing compared to its place and the way it felt. It was home and a place that truly felt as if it were a community. Those dark days I read one night and realized how much darkness and black voids were in my life. How the relationship with my Dad at the time was in shambles—how much neither of us understood each other, and all the things I had felt during those times.

There was light among these entries, there was hope. I believe out of everything I went through hope, the love of my life, and music paid part in getting me out of my darkest days. After downloading the entire duration of my time here at Opendiary I spent the night reading and reading those darkest days, all those horrible feelings and stupid mistakes I realized there was only one thing left for me to do. Purge. It was hard for me to do, but those dark days and that reminder as I read loomed over my head like a stormcloud, and in this stage of my life I knew I didn’t need such darkness. There were a few entries I did save. Those were the ones I felt needed to be saved. There were some that I could re-write without an issue. Deleting the old was for the better. There were many favorites, many readers I would miss and their encouraging notes but this was not something I wanted looming over me nor did I want to have its painful reminder. Purging of all entries—save a few—I felt as if there was a weight lifted. I felt as if that chapter in my life closed. New chapters have since then emerged.

The old diary saw my some life changing events, one in particular. My move to New Orleans, Louisiana. I always dreamed of just visiting the city once. Never did I think I would live in the metropolitan of the city. I picked up my life from a small town in Texas, and drove four hours to unfamiliar territory. The city scared the shit out of me as I had never been to a big city like this. However I really never saw New Orleans and her beauty until after I moved an hour away from the city. Katrina ravaged the city one year later after I moved there with the love of my life—he was the reason for the move, I wanted to be with him and I would by all means. We got a house in Thibodaux, Louisiana just weeks before Katrina. I saw New Orleans in the wake of Katrina’s destruction and I feared the city would never be the same, and in many ways it’s not, but she’s come back so strong since Katrina. After being able to face the city and letting her get back to normal I began to explore her in so many ways, and since then I have long fallen in love with New Orleans. There’s truly no place like New Orleans I could never leave her. It’s hard to believe that I could leave home without an issue and never want to go back, but just the sheer thought of me having to go back to Texas and leave New Orleans breaks my heart.

There is much to be said, and a lot for me to catch up on, however the introduction to my return as the Uncertain Tragedy is here. I feel at home again. I feel as if the muse may well return. I have so much to tell here, so much to share. I have so many things I want to write, record and just write away. Finding the old favorite, circles, the all of it. So begins a new chapter in Take This Strange Behaviour and the life of Uncertain Tragedy. Welcome back OD, you have long been a part of my life, no other place compares!