There is Good

 Well after my depression Bout I got the horrible stomach virus that has been going around.  It lasted two weeks from the beginning Body aches to the last of the pain from eating anything other than hot rice cereal.  

However, I am doing pretty good now.  Work has been busy but challenging and exciting.  In the past two years I have not changed jobs but my boss has completely changed the focus of our department and even though I did not apply for a new position what I do now is completely different than what I did previously.  It is all good.  It is more meaningful, rewarding work.  We were previously focusing on quality testing but we have now launched a full scale process improvement endeavor.  Without looking for it, I think I have found my dream job by chance.  So with all the trauma and turmoil of losing my sister, I am blessed to be happy with what I spend my days working on.  I know that is a privilege so I try to keep that in focus when grief overcomes me.  

Also, I truly enjoy my 8 month old great-nephew.  In addition, my other niece is pregnant and super excited to be so.  Her career goal since about five has been to be a SAHM and due to a lot of missed work day from morning sickness she already lost her job.  (Her husband was going to let her quit when the baby was born.)  So she is 23 and living her dream life.  She babysits her nephew so she knows babies are work, but I hope motherhood is all she hopes for.  

My brother and his wife are in the process of adoption.  The woman who selected them is due at the end of April.  I hope everything works out with that.  They want a baby so badly it is painful to watch.  He is 41 and she is 36.  They have been going to a fertility specialist for three years, tried in vitro twice and spent thousands trying.  I am sure it is hard to watch a 17 and 23 year old get pregnant and carry a baby with no problems.  

My deceased sisters husband is in rehab for the third time.  This time someone had the sense to get him psychiatric help so they are trying to help him with prescription drugs so his pancreas has a chance of working a few more years.  He has been close to death so many times it just amazes everyone that he is still alive.  It is good for his girls though.  Even if he is an alcoholic and does nothing to contribute to their lives, I know it is better to have one parent than none.  

My parents are…well…I think I will save that for another entry.  I did not speak to my father for a year after my sister died.  We are back on speaking terms, but it is really complicated.  Maybe writing that out will be a good exercise for me.