The Algernon-Gordon effect

"Your epidermis is showing" Hannah peered over the cash register with her chin resting lazily on the palm of her hand. I glanced at my crotch feeling around for something to embarrassingly put away, she sweetly smiled and further made me feel tremendously small.
"Where?" I began patting down my chest "I don’t see anything?"
"You dork, your epidermis is your skin" Hannah answered as she began giggling like a school girl "You are way to easy to fool McGillicutty"
"Don’t flatter yourself Emherst. I know what an epidermis is, I was just playing along"  I responded and continued to restock the multicolored assortment of ‘on the go candy bars’ and ‘cash register bubble gum’.
"Sure, whatever dork" Hannah stuck her tongue out and pinched her face. I couldn’t help but smile.

We just recently started referring to each other by our last names as that when I first met Hannah, while making my rounds stocking the candy shelves by the cash registers, She was a bit reluctant to call me by my first name, Ulysses.
"My parents named me after the novel by James Joyce" I tried to explain, but to no avail she just stood there with her brow raised and her head cocked back. "They were both authors and artists" I continued, but she was having nothing to do with it.
"Didn’t we have a President named Ulysses?" Hannah interjected
"Yes, Ulysses S. Grant"
"Oh.. never heard of him" Hannah smiled and grabbed my hand to shake it. "I’m Hannah, resident bitch and reluctant connaisseur of the fine art of cashier-ing. If you ever need any help with anything don’t hesitate to ask…. Cathy over there on register 5" She pointed to an elderly woman who looked like she was already decomposing. 
"Interesting" I stated, "Does Cathy know you are pimping her out like that?" 
"don’t be ridiculous Cathy and I are like this" Hannah crossed her middle finger and index finger together and showed me.
I began to notice the bean shape hips on Cathy that elderly women seem to form after a certain age, usually right after menopause and right before bat shit crazy.
"So you and Cathy are homies huh?" I asked
"You better believe it, We go back"
"You go back huh? like how far back, the beginning of time?"
Hannah began laughing
"Thats awful" she continued "You shouldn’t be making fun of old people like that, you’ll be old one day too"
"I bet those hips can swing a mean hula-hoop what do you think?" I inquired
Hannah continued laughing "You are so bad!"
"You think if she craps her pants management will make one of us clean her up?" I asked
"Depends®" Hannah answered, my jaw dropped, my eyes lit up, and I began laughing hysterically
"Now thats awful" I pointed out, presenting a high five in which she immediately slapped.
Hannah turned red, hid her face in her hands and began regretting her words.
"I can already tell you are going to corrupt me" Hannah stated.
just then a customer walked up with all 20 items in his Cart
"Shoo! go away you are going to get me in trouble!" she swatted me away like a fly.
I just stuck my tongue out, pinched my face, and moved on to the next aisle.

In moments of reflection and deep depression I find myself thinking about Hannah. There is something inexplicably different about this
girl, so thoughtful and surprisingly innocent but sardonic in every way. In her 18 years of existence she has the eyes of a poet and the
heart of a child. I can’t bring myself to tell her that I’m currently homeless. I’m afraid that our friendship may change if I did. besides I like
it the way it is, I just find comfort from these mean streets at work in the form of a puppy crush.