trillions

 

Who keeps tracking leaves into the house?

Who ran off with the nail clippers?

Good grief! Who left the stove on?

Who’s wearing my thermal underwear?

Who slipped in here and mispelled words?

Did that squirrel take my tape measure?

What the hell is this wet spot?

Duh. If I didn’t live alone, I would never know. If I wasn’t in total denial of my senility, it might possibly exist. Whatever helps us get by, I guess. I think that what changes the most as we age is ‘focus’, and focus is always changing throughout our lives.

This summer I have reorganized boxes of things I haven’t opened in years. I’ve reached the conclusion that if you don’t leave it hanging in the open, most hidden items will fall out of one’s mental inventory in about 10 years. That’s why old men are always nailing things up in their barn, garage, or shed. Denial. They don’t need to maintain their mental inventory. It refreshes every time they walk by.

Actually, I think this year has been more productive on my hill than any other year. I’ve been more focused. Fewer distractions. I’m letting myself forget things in order to streamline my processes. I’ll leave it at that.

So if I make five separate coffees on the stove every day, I’ve turned it on and off 18,000 times in the past ten years…

Ever notice that whenever a big number is dropped, everyone is programmed to think, “OMG! That’s a lot!” I focused myself to listen for big numbers being dropped during the Presidential debates. A big number usually ended an argument because it leaves everyone thinking like a zombie, “Yup. That’s a lot.” Of course, the perfect retort to a big number… is another even bigger number!

Here’s what the masses think when a big number is dropped:

A hundred is a challenge that requires help.

A thousand is a chore that takes you to exhaustion.

A million is a place you’ll never get to visit.

A billion undresses you into humiliating insignificance.

A trillion gives you a full frontal lobotomy…