Something to Think About. A Responce to Cattiva.

Heya Beautiful Ones,

I read an entry today, actually for the sixth time, of a fav of mine. Some of you know her; she’s actually a close friend and one of only a couple of my open diary mates I have met in the flesh. The reason for MY entry has been inspired by Cattiva’s. In NO way am I trying to steal her thunder, infact I am going to compliment the words she wrote, not in a males’ perspective, but by way of the message I found in it.

Her story told of a close friend, a woman she ultimately befriended through her days in a beauty salon. Regardless of the way they met, they had an attraction based upon the similarities they shared, and they ultimately ended up seeing each other regularly and a close friendship grew. Ironically though, the TRUE similarities were only to come to the surface later in time, and they were not the circumstances that they each imagined they would be.

Ahh yes, Mr. Riddle man is talking again lol! I have this habit of going off in a tangent at times I know 😛 “L” (Cattiva) was a single woman, and her friend was in a deep relationship. The common ground? Well, happiness of course! “L” has always been a woman who thrives on the happiness of others, it makes her feel all warm and fuzzy, and she truly does love seeing others in love. If I was to let her, she would no doubt squeeze me to the point of breaking my bones to show her happiness for me!!! Her friend was in that situation, totally in a state of bliss and a huge future in front of her. As the story unfolded, it told of her friends’ realization that her future was not as bright as she had thought it would be. That her chosen partner at the time was NOT in fact the man she was destined to be with, even though they had MANY years under their belts together. Although they had vested a huge amount of time and money in a house together, the superficial things in life did not alter her vision. You see, what her friend realized was, that her future should not be confined by the walls that she allowed herself to be enclosed in through an ideal of happiness.

She realized that her own soul, her own being, was not in line with the man she was with. How many of you would dare to take the step that she did next, and not only walk it, but back yourself on the poker table? She called off the wedding, sold her half of the house back to him, gave back the engagement ring, and made the decision for no selfish reason. Happiness in life may well be your own, but in a relationship it MUST be balanced. From what I read, and by the way I perceived the woman in the story, she did it with dignity and compassion. Something inside her twigged, something made her KNOW that she was going down a road that was not going to help her grow. He was complacent, she was defiant. He was slow, she was fast, and he was a sleeper, she was awake. Either way the moral of the story hit me right between the eyes, we are all our own drivers of our lives and our futures, and if our co driver is asleep, we are ultimately doomed!

Although the story has an obvious light of support for women everywhere, if you look past the obvious you will see that it actually applies to us all. There was a lesson in this entry, and a damn good one at that! “L” has always been a strong minded individual, not a strong minded woman, a strong minded “individual”, and was that way a very long time before I ever came to know her. Her basis of the entry was along the lines that in the end, “Niki” and she were alike by their strength in “knowing” what they wanted out of life. It didn’t say “no man will control me”, it said “this man didn’t work with me”.

I guess my catch on this whole thing is that I believe there are very few of us that really concentrate on ourselves. Yes we all want to be in love, yes we all want to KNOW we have the perfect relationship, but how many of us are willing to stop believing our own lies and act on our true beliefs? Not many, I can assure you of that! Although I have now become a VERY fortunate man in my recent life in regards to my future with Ani, I most certainly fit the criteria in my past of a man driven by the NEED to exhaust all efforts to validate my feelings with the women I have known in my life. Though there have been few, I know now, that my final decision to leave them was in my best interest. Life is about learning, it’s about rowing down a river of opportunity. However I can’t help but wonder if many of us feel that the first “half decent” opportunity we come across sends us into a spiraling need to retain that initial feeling of belonging. Belonging where we “think” we need to be, and truly belonging where we “should” be are two very different things.

Look, the truth is that some of us are strong, and some are less strong. I hate with a passion the word “weak”, it is so commonly labeled to those with less of an ability to see through confusion. If you have ever been in a situation where you doubt the relationship you are in, you will most certainly relate to the feeling of distress. You find yourself looking at your partner in a different light, wondering to yourself if you have actually made the right decision. The fact is though, that somewhere along the way in those

thoughts, you enter back into the trap of comfort through that which you “know”.

I truly admire men and women who see first hand, exactly what is right for them. Of the people I am referring to, many label them prick teasers, or non committals. Bear this in mind though, someday those men and women DO find the place in life they are meant to be, and they are the ones who NEVER look back!

I am in no way suggesting that those of you who are questioning your relationship “walk out”. I am saying that given the time to think about it, and given the safe opportunity, “would you stay”? If you answered no, then you know why this entry meant so much to me. Yes I love to belong, I am not a man who enjoys continual solitude, but not at the expense of my future personal happiness.

There is no “I” in “team”, and the last time I checked, even a duo is a team. The single most important decision we make in life, is the person we choose to spend the rest of ours with. Now THAT is something to think about!

I Love You Guys With a Passion!

Luke xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo