Baby’s Logg, Week #6.

Baby Update!

 

Hello to all my fe-mates and mates!

 

Firstly, I want to say thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and notes you guys left me J)))) I’m warm and fuzzy enough as it is, but that really blew me away! I guess for a very small few, the thought of having a baby is a daunting time, but not this little black duck! It would seem that I have had a new injection of life, a heart starter with a kick! The guys at work think I’ve gone mad though, because all I do is sing all the time 😛 I race home everyday to scour the four corners of the web for any and all information I can get my head into.

 

I am no more excited than when the girls were born, but for some reason, this time I can’t get enough material to read. I want to know what he/she looks like right now, what changes occur as the weeks go on, and most importantly, THE SEX! Yup, we both do, because we have chosen our names and want to be able to give the little one an identity. I know that’s going to be impossible till around ten weeks, but at the rate I’m going I reckon I will have it sussed in a couple on my own lol! If I told you that I have been throwing up every morning, would you think I was a nutcase? It’s only been happening for a couple of weeks now, and I have NO idea why. A couple of friends have told me it’s because I love Ani so much, but those girls just quietly smile and make NO ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN! I’ll be losing weight faster than she’s putting it on at this rate!

 

We have been over our list of names many times, but both chose the same in the end.

For a Girl:

Georgia Grace McCoy.

 

For a Boy:

Tyler Patrick McCoy.

 

As strong and manly as his name is, hers is soft and, feminine and timeless. I’m not going to drive you guys to insanity with blog after blog of baby innuendo, rather I think I am going to do one blog a week, every Thursday, on the progression of us as a family, Ani’s health, and illustrations of where the baby is at. I really do want to share this journey with you guys, you have been around in my life for a while now, and it will be a wonderful thing for Ani and I to look back on and read in the future. We have the results of the bloods back now, and she is officially six weeks. I told you guys we thought that huh! Lol, not bad for guess work 😛

 

On another serious note though, two nights ago when I was tucking Morgie into bed, he asked me a really amazing question. I’m not sure if I’ve told you guys about this, but right from the beginning I have drawn the line in regards to the boys calling me Dad. I know I am their dad (in the father figure way), the only male influence they have had in their short lives so far, but I made that decision out of respect. Not for their biological father, the guy is a germ for what he put Anika and the boys through; I chose that path for them. In my eyes, it is vitally important that they know and understand their own identity, including their past. We hold no secretes from them, and we tell them no lies. When they are of the age that they require knowledge of their father, Ani has a folder containing all the information they will need, good, bad, and ugly, and I will make sure they know the good things as well.

 

The point I am making, is that in reality, do I have the right to assume the title of “Dad” in the lives of two young boys who have been subject to so much change. They are naturally clingy in a way, having a male figure in the house does that for boys, but they must make their own decisions, in their own time. Up until now, they have always called me “Lukie”, but it would seem that all is about to change. At seven years of age, Morgan’s concern was one I could not ignore or put off (not that I would). In fact, I found myself sitting on the floor next to his bed, amazed by the volume and quality of his little mind. His question was this, “When the baby is born, it will call you Dad wont it?” After I corrected him and made him aware that the baby was not an “it”, I agreed with him. However then he said, “Would it be ok if I called you Dad too?” When I asked him

why that was so important to him, he said that I was his Dad, he loved me like a real one, and he didn’t want to confuse his new sister or brother, “I want us to be a whole family” he said.

 

Well, I was fighting back the tears at that point, and I just told him that if he was comfortable to do that, I would love him for making the choice. At this stage there have only been two occasions that it has come out, but I liken it to the same situation in adult life. Change is difficult; imagine calling your boyfriend or girlfriends mother “Mum” for the first time. More than a little bit daunting huh! I will tell you all this, and I swear on the souls of all my kids, I love those boys so much. Yes, they drive me fukin mad some days, but they are just being boys, and there are so many things about them individually, that make me beam with pride! Singly, their educational hunger has tripled in twelve months. They are so focused on learning that it makes me smile! When I first met them, they were unstable in some ways, expected after what they had been witness to, but now they are settled and content. I say this to the point that although I have no biological son of my own and although I am the last male in my family line, assuming those two boys as my sons is enough to make me happy. Having a little Georgia to “Grace” Anikas life and mine would be equally as wonderful!

 

As I sit here and write this I am aching for my girls L God, this is where it is so hard, and it just places more emphasis on getting to Queensland again for good! My sacrifice is Ani’s, and hers is mine, we both knew it would never be easy.

 

Tyler, Georgia, whoever you may be, Daddy’s waiting with arms wide open!

Bub looks like this!

“Morgie”

Me and My Girl.

 

I Love You Guys!

Luke xoxoxo