Both Dead and Alive Inside

The past year has been shit but there have been some highlights.  I started out living in Athens with the biggest POS named K.  I moved to Jack sonville alone with my dog Monroe in March.  It was a tiny home.  It was quiet but wasn’t a “home”.  I started the new year with a new job and Covid.  I swear some days even 11 months later…I have symptoms.   New job is great….I decided to step pack into a lower position and I make more money…less hours…it was a no brainer.

I dated this guy in January February (even tho I was still living with K) I will call him Bub.  Bub was everything I wanted so I thought. I make stupid decsions when it comes to relationships.  Always have.   Then suddenly Bub decided he didn’t want a relationship…like literally on Valentines Day and so guess what I did….  I started seeing his best friend.  We went to supper quiet and few and he stayed with me in Jville however once I asked for a label…he started not coming around as much.   It was fun while it lasted.. Fuck Bub.  He made me cry.  But of course I moved on..

Met and went on some dates in June and July….no many guys out there that don’t work….which blows my mind.

Then…then…from FB dating…on August 6th I met Chd.  We chatted a few days and then he wanted to meet me on a Monday…I stood him up…kinda, I told him that he needed to call and wake me up before he left his house.  He didn’t and I slept.

We ended up meeting the next day and everything is history…we have been together everyday since.  He lived around an hour and a half from jville.  I came to his house because he has a home and land.  But let me tell you…he has fucking baggage. A bitch named Steph Anie and 2 grown fish kids.  His daughter is 19..has 1.5 yr old twin boys…still living with Momma… dead beat baby daddy..different race….a son that is 17 and a sexual predator.  Im not lying…this is for another time to explain..maybe later tonight but his son scares me… he is mentally fucked up and no one cares..  Chd is a good ol boy and he is ashamed.  Not his words but mine.  He doesn’t like to talk about it.  Ex wife is a cunt.  We have had words and will have some more. Dislike her.

Chd is working on us.  I am trying to be patient and forgiving…which is not something I have ever been.  I want him to make more romantic gestures. Doesn’t everyone.

Anyway..I will write more later.  I also have a 1 yr old British bulldog named LillyPig.  Monroe is almost 8.