Projectile Vomit…

Actually, that’s kinda disgusting. But it’s what I feel like doing. Projectile vomiting from every orifice of my body. :::sigh::: Things between me and Girl 2 are going well. Girl 1 and I hardly even talk anymore. Every now and then I give a call, but I don’t expect to talk to her, nor do I feel that if I do start talking I want to talk for long. And now there is a new factor. And keeping in the style of the diary, I’ll call her Girl 3. I like her. She’s cool. We have great times hanging out at school, and being friends. She wants to go out, but at the same time she just wants to be friends. So we can get to know each other. So we are going to go to the Spring Ball together and see what happens then. So I try not to do anything. I give her a hug when I see her and one when it’s time to go. Anything else that happens is when she starts tickling my back or my leg or some such like that. I asked her if she thought I was being to forward with the hugs and showing my afffection. She told me no I wasn’t and she was afraid that she was with the tickling and the such. But now she’s telling me that I am being too forward. :::insert projectile vomit::: I know that no type of commitment was made in anyway, but I don’t want to be hoping through the Spring Ball, which is April 30th, just so she can say no. I hate being strung along. And I hate being dumped. And I hate them trying to pretend that nothing happened and still trying to be my friend. At the least you can bloody well acknowledge the fact that what you did hurt me. Now I’m not the type of person to dwell on things long, in most cases I tell people to get over it as quickly as possible. So I will. I will get over it quite quick. I can honestly say that as much as it will hurt and I won’t like it, I can get over it. I’m not going to dwell on it. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t act differently when all is said and done. I’ll just be a little more callous and a little colder and MUCH more of an asshole. And sadly to say, the majority of what I feel will be directed at Girl 3. Why? Because she was the one that made me feel that way. Even now I can sense that things will be slightly different. Tickling my back and my leg won’t be the same. I’ll turn that off. And I’ll just do my best to “tone it down a bit.” I was asked to, so I will. Don’t know how much people are going to like it, but I will. The best bet is just to not flirt. Be friends, but not flirt with her. Easier said than done, but not impossible. :::shrug::: C’est la vie.

Another little bit of drama that’s going on which is some REAL bullshit is with Bonnie. I can say her name because this type of drama doesn’t involve me… much. She’s a great girl and it’s fun hanging out with her and everything. But she has such personal drama and she needs help and I try to help, but it doesn’t make anything better. And at the fear of sounding like a real dick, I just don’t really care about most of it. But I can’t tell her any of that because it will hurt her and that’s something I don’t want to do. Plus she has a knack for over-exaggeration and she usses that to mkae things worse than they are, and I just don’t like that. And I think she has a tendency to want something to the point where she pretends that certain people say certain things at certain times, when no one said anything at any time. The problem is she believes it, too. On the average, the drama here at school is starting to make it feel like high school again, and as much as I miss things about high school, that is one thing I will never miss. Everytime she tells me about another part of drama in her life I want to :::insert projectile vomit here::: Doesn’t make me a happy or nice person, but what can be done. It is the way I am. I think I should walk around with a sign saying “Your first impression of me is probably wrong. I’m an asshole. And I don’t like you.” :::PROJECTILE VOMIT:::