Just a thought.

 Tick tock tick tock, Hook’s afraid of a dead ol’ croc!

Left in a state of complete disrepair. I haven’t shattered yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m not broken. What should I do, what should I say? Do I walk or do I run away? I guess that means I’m not where I want to be yet. Quarter after two in the morning and I’m awake. Not kind of awake, not semi asleep, just awake. My body is falling apart underneath me, my desire to actually do the necessary things to survive is diminishing greatly. I don’t mean basics, like eating, which I haven’t been doing, but going to work, or going out at all. My objectivity is crumbling away. Things are actually becoming important to me. Not. well, kinda. I don’t know. It’s weird. It’s more like I’m losing control of my mental facilities. I just don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m losing control of everything. I’m torturing myself but this time I can’t think of any reason why I would deserve it. Whatever. I’m currently typing this while watching Drunken Master on Hulu. The original. Writing in 30 ssecond snippets mean nothing really in the long run because my thoughts constantly are pulled away.  Honrstly, this turned into a commercial of an entry. 10 after 4 now. Drunken Master is over. Normally this is where I’d break for the regularly scheduled program. In this case that’d be sleep, but I don’t think I’ll be getting much of that tonight. Or at all this week. Or next. I have no focus. No desire to actually do any of the things I like. I’m not depressed or angry, or much of anything. I just can’t seem to find a reason to do any of the things I generally enjoy doing.

Fuck, I’m going to go have a cigarette, maybe find something to eat, and then try to go to sleep. I’ll deal with you all later. Maybe I’ll try some free flow writing at some point. Not tonight, not now, but at some point. 

G’night.