1/23/07
It amazes me how some parents get mad at teachers for teaching their children. It almost seems like they would rather their kid get all "A’s", but walk out of my class dumb as a rock, instead of actually being held accountable for learning. I just don’t get it.
I have a student who I just don’t know what to do with. He never wants to do anything in work related in class. He never pays attention to anything. I could seriously ask him how to spell his name and he would stare back at me completely clueless. He is capable–he just doesn’t want to put in any effort. No one has ever held him accountable. His third grade teacher tried last year, and his parents made her year a living hell. I am not sure I am prepared to fight that battle. He never does any of his work during classtime, and then it comes back the next day done in his mother’s handwriting. I am horrible at confrontation, so I don’t know how to call the parents out on this. Yesterday he got mad at me while I was trying to work with him on his math homework. He turned to his classmates and said "I hate school. I am not coming tomorrow". Sure enough, he isn’t here today(he misses school a lot!). I sent a note home to his parents yesterday letting them know I was concerned about him. I wonder if I’ll hear back. I seriously just wish I could figure out how to reach this kid. He doesn’t want a personal relationship with me. He shuts down or mumbles anytime that I try to make random conversation. He doesn’t participate in class, and shuts me out when I try to work one on one with him. I feel like I am failing him, but I just don’t know what to do. I definitely need more patience.
Alright…the kids are back. Time to teach, or at least attempt.
thats sad. don’t take it as a reflection of yourself though. it is entirely on the parent’s shoulders. and if they feel it is less important for their child to learn than be happy, well, then there’s not much you can do about it. have you talked to your principal about it (if you have that kind of relationship with her/him)? [random noter] – noah
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That’s really sad 🙁 The parents are going to have a huge problem on their hands if this kid is already having trouble at this young age and they’re not taking it seriously.
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its not your fault. it sounds like you’re trying. reaching out to the parents is good. maybe if they hear it from every teacher, by middle school they’ll take it more seriously. they can only bail him out of his laziness for so long.
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that’s sad his parents have made him that way..it’s not his fault or yours, it obviously comes from the way his parents are handling things. i hope they see the light and try to work with you instead of against you *hugs*
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I don’t think this is your “failing,” I think most of what he is going through and struggling with is due to his parents not parenting him–ex. his mom doing his homework for him. That is so ludicrous is makes me angry. Forget about the parents for now and think about this child’s future. You are responsible for helping him to learn and grow academically; do you want him to keep floating
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through life, having his parents do everything for him? Probably not. You can’t, obviously, make his parents do anything, and I know you hate confrontation, but you need to do what’s best for him, even if that means failing him or holding him back. Ugh. I just don’t understand parents like that.
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I hope that didn’t sound bossy! :o( Sorry.
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Whatever you do…don’t give up on him. Sounds like everyone else already does that. I have one suggestion. When I was teaching and I had a kid who was “on the bubble”…struggling, but not completely lost yet, I’d wait until he/she did something pretty great. Maybe a good paper, a day of being attentive, or they did something nice for someone. I’d write a note to the parents, praising the kid. Fold it in half and secure it with one piece of scotch tape. (I knew the kid could read it, and would, that way). The boost in confidence was really nice, and both parent & child felt pretty good. The next day was almost always a good day for him/her..and sometimes it would last.
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while reading this, I have a student of my own pictured in my head. The problems are the same, except his parents don’t care. It’s a broken home..remarried parents and they have like 10 siblings/step siblings. It’s clear that the father, who is the main discipliner (is that a word??), cares more about the kid playing sports than passing in school. It’s really frustrating, I totally understand!
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As stated in other notes…it’s not your fualt. And if you haven’t done it already…bring the principal in for this. He’s not going to get better unless SOMETHING changes and if there is someone else standing ground with you, it may make your life a smudge easier (though his family is not going to be easy, as you said). Good luck. 🙂
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