Deep Eternal Love

Today I was listening to a song by Jesse McCartney. Yes I listen to him. It really made me flash back to the days I was on the floor dying because I ruined everything with Jeff. On particular song is called "Take your Sweet Time". This was the song I would blast and hope Jeff could tell That’s how I felt, and today while I was listening to it I cryed.
The saying: You never know what you have till it’s gone, It the most true thing anyone has said.
I hate remembering that point in my life and yet I can never forget it. It hurts more than anything in the world. It’s as if I need him. It’s not the best thing to say but when I think he is gone, or remember when he was… I can’t breath.
I can’t think, and I get crazed ideas in my head.
I remember when I was done crying for two days straight I became so desperate to get him back I made things worse. I even flirted with other guys in front of Jeff. I guess I just didn’t know what to do.
Don’t get me wrong we are doing great now. I never had to move out, and we don’t have any gaps.
It just kills to remember it. Also i figure if i write it down i will look back and never make the same mistake.
It could also help pervent someone elses relationship from failing.
Well I have to go let the pups out and then i will write about my Christmas!
~*~