The New Fear

January went by so fast I hardly had time to think about anything.

Tomorrow Hubbin has an appointment to get his 1st shot. Suddenly I have an unexpected fear. He will most likely be “safe” but will we be safe from him? After tomorrow he could be a carrier and we wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t know.

This springs up out of my antisocial comfort zone after I spent the day trying to figure out how to get some respiratory crap dealt with that is perfectly normal this time of year. All that being careful and I can’t get a real thing dealt with because you answer one question wrong and no one will be available to help you. Hard call. Lie about one thing to get the other thing taken care of (which is not in my nature) or sneak off to get tested for something you don’t need to be tested for so you can fly it in someone’s face and get what you came for or wait until you cross paths with the big scary thing and roll the bones. 329 days of being careful, avoiding almost everyone I know, and it comes down to none of it matters because if you don’t win the vaccination lottery you are going to have to hide from the people you want to be protected.

I don’t know the answer but I think I and the youngster are probably screwed. We create Frankenfather and then invite him into our home. His home.

It doesn’t even matter if there’s a loophole that would put us in line for the vaccine. There is no place for us to get it.

I wasn’t afraid when he went back to teaching because I know he was more worried about getting it than anybody else. Now I get to be afraid of the one person I had literally in my corner. Also, my bestie has had both doses too. Now I get to be afraid of the only people we’ve been able to hang out with. They only have to make one mistake and they wouldn’t know anything is wrong. It’s just sinking in that right now, more than ever. I cannot protect myself or my children from the people we rely on.  Granted it may be a temporary situation but a lot can go wrong in a few months and we’ve come so far.

I can’t find any answers to this question right now. I consulted someone who has the knowledge and they say my concerns are legit. I hate not knowing what to do. Too early to toodle off to the campground (if I could find one) and hide until this is resolved.