Service Before Self

Yeah, 9/11 changed my life in ways I never thought possible. I thought I could do important work after that. It burned me out. Broke me physically. If you don’t mind doing a thankless job for 10 years…well, enough said about that. My intentions were good.
Too smokey to go outside in weather that would otherwise be perfect throw open the windows and take a nap season. I did pass out from noon the 3 pm anyway. Had a cup of coffee afterward, usually a bad idea, and get the housework done. Paid bills. Wrote letters.
Started cleaning my office. Found a file full of my parent’s leavings. Included were two pages of my mother’s ramblings after she found herself in a care facility. It was so sad. She swirled around the idea that we all hated her, that my father was and wasn’t dead, and not being able to remember where she actually lived but wanting desperately to go home. At some point, she’d pestered Dad so bad he told her decisively that she couldn’t come home. Her interpretation was they were suddenly and surprisingly quits after 49 years of marriage. I’m not sure that’s what he told her but I know he was horribly burned out by the time we took over his care. He confessed she had been physically abusive at some point and also isolated him from the things that kept him going forward work, grandkids, healthcare, friends, etc.
Actually cleaned the bathroom we mean to destroy. You have to get the stink out where you find it.
Found the BIG stink under the stairs. Every time Hubbin takes some of those knotty pine boards out of the stairwell the odor rises up again and moves to a different part of the structure. By Tuesday night I declared the place uninhabitable. My knee started hurting from climbing a ladder so I had to go home and recover with only 1/3 of the living room walls washed. Wu came and helped but we’re asking a germaphobe to take on mind-boggling filth. He’s a good sport to even try. I’ll send him out to paint windowsills next week when the smoke goes away. If we wait much longer it’ll be too cold.
Ron Desantis is pure trash. Venezuelans have been through enough. They are human beings. I hope the folks up there in Martha’s Vineyard realize what a gift they have just been given. Nice try.
First day of school for Hubbin. I made him take his picture for 17th grade.
Trying to heal up enough, and catch up on lakehouse things so I can plant grass seed tomorrow.

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