I am such a failure, sigh

So I didn’t start anew the other day, I ended up keeping my three (yes, Lord help me) three nephews over night. Oh merciful heavens, 3 kids added to my two kids, oof. I haven’t worked out since and I am such a failure. Then I started my wonderful period (at least I am not pregnant) and it has been a madhouse here ever since. But rag time is almost over, and I think I might be able to get going tomorrow. Not tomorrow as in never but actually tomorrow, Saturday.
I ordered a s.a.d light and I had to add more medicine to try to get some sleep but I have gotten a little bit of sleep the last couple of nights so I am starting to feel a little better. (Insomnia sucks so bad) But my carpal tunnel is acting up horribly now too, I can’t even close my hands without them locking into place. It hurts all the way to mid upper arm/shoulder. I hate my body so bad, I am 38 years old and I feel like I should be 95 with all that is wrong with me.
I am going to go right now and set up a workout schedule for each week, I am going to have to start out slow again because it has been so long since I have worked out regularly, it sucks because I was doing so well and now, well, I have regained at least 15 pounds if not more and my body isn’t used to working out at all anymore. I also have to be careful of my hip, it hurts and shots don’t seem to help so I have no idea what is wrong with it. I feel like I try to get in better shape and my body just falls apart more and more in protest, lol.
Anyway, off to figure out a new routine and I will post it later today hopefully.
I am also going to look up some other people sites to get some encouragement on my weight loss journey.