happily never after.

 
im starting to realize (and maybe i have high expectations after watching enough romance movies over the past decade)
 
That i’ve always been so naieve about relationships even when i was younger, i had this idea that once i met THE guy im supposed to be with that everything would fall in to place.
 
i would think of all the things i would want out of the ideal relationship as i got older, there would be love and romance (of course) great communication, chemistry, mutual respect, support, loyalty, intimacy with a happily ever after ending…
 
and somehow i ended up with the biggest asshole ever… im starting to reevaluate what i have with him, everything i expected from an ideal relationship is realistic?isnt it? there has to be couples that have everything i listed.
 
so how the hell did i get the broken one?apparently im not worthy.

 
i dont believe in soulmates anymore but i do believe there are some people out there your compatible with that you could have everything i described.
 
i just know over this past week that he isnt the one im going to marry and have kids with. there is no happily ever after with him.
 
he cant even support me in my time of need, instead i get judgement and put down for feeling the way i do.
 
i wanted to believe it was him, i still love him, but i think deep down i know he’s not who i will end up with, ive just been holding on for dear life, in fear of having to start over again- the last thing i want to do is end up with a carbon copy of Drago.
 
i had this future goal of getting married by the time i turned 26, having a couple of kids and living out my life with this great man i made out to be my ‘prince’
 
now i’m starting to become cynical about the whole idea of finding your "life partner"
 
romance in general makes me bitter wherever i see it now.
 
i used to be so optimistic about it, now im just like ‘fuck it’
 
i should just stick to what i know best- being a single mom.
 
…fuck love
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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